Destination: No Man's Land
by Nevara Alyss
Summary: AU.  The Krogan Rebellions rage on well after First Contact.  Drawn into a war they weren't prepared for, the Alliance throws its best soldiers into the heat of battle to fight alongside the turians and salarians.  Violence, language and future smut.
1. Prologue

**A/N: I have been dabbling with ideas and this one seems to be working for me. It is another AU since those seem to work best for me.**

**Disclaimer: BioWare owns all characters and locations named through out the story.**

"Jenkins, just place the damn charges and lets get the hell out here!" Adryann snapped at the man by her side. The wind howled sending a whistling sound through her helmet.

"Commander, we've got incoming troops flanking from both sides. The krogan are at our asses and we don't have time to wait for them." Kaidan spoke as he watched for the impending forces to march down on top of them.

"Bullshit, Lieutenant. We will wait till I give the order to evacuate. Until then, bunker down and kill anything that comes into sight." Adryann yelled, turning back to the young corporal as he fiddled with the bomb. "What's wrong?" She asked, realizing that it wasn't Jenkins that was holding up everyone, but that the primers weren't working.

"I don't know? They won't set up the way they are supposed to. Oh, man! I think the last volley might have damaged the detonator." Jenkins tried to explain in a hurried fashion.

"Fuck, we need to meet with the STG and turians quick. They are expecting us to destroy this satellite uplink." Adryann spoke, grabbing the charges and sticking the primers into the plastique. "We'll just have to improvise, then won't we?" She looked over at Kaidan who was watching out into the wastes.

She returned to her work and checked the detonator for any signs of life, but nothing came up on the screen. _When all else fails... _She smacked the detonator against the side of the satellite a couple of times.

It flashed triple-zeroes and beeped. Adryann smiled and handed it back to Jenkins who scratched his head and shrugged. The rest was up to him. He was the demolition specialist after all. Adryann stood for a moment and spied the surroundings. Things were too quiet for her liking.

The wind continued to howl, swirling tiny bits of dirt and debris around. It was a tense situation made worse by the fact that they had so far behind enemy lines with no real way out. Once their mission was completed, it would still be another hour to where they were to meet the other troops. Anderson had wished them the best of luck, but deep down Adryann knew he was probably trying to say good-bye without the obvious sentiments.

"We're all set." Jenkins said, dusting his hands and looking at his handiwork.

"Set it for two minutes and lets get the hell out of here." Adryann ordered, looking at the detonator as it flashed for the final codes.

"Shepard! We've got incoming!" Kaidan barked. Adryann looked up to see the oncoming horde raging towards them.

"Don't just stand there! Shoot them!" Adryann yelled back. She lifted her assault rifle and started firing. There wasn't much else to do until Jenkins gave the signal for them to take their leave.

They fired spraying as many bullets as they could trying to slow the incoming chargers. One would fall only to be immediately replaced by another within the ranks.

"Commander, its done!" Jenkins screamed over the deafening gunfire.

"Alright, lets get out of here!" Adryann spoke, grabbing Kaidan's shoulder. "Run, damn it!"

Kaidan jumped to his feet and took off after Jenkins and Adryann. The incoming bullets rained down at them. They ricocheted off of the ground whistling past them at close range. Adryann looked back to see the linebacker sized aliens gaining ground on them.

"How much time?" Adryann called.

"Ten seconds!" Jenkins answered back.

Ten seconds. It felt like an eternity. Adryann slowed a step or two and watched as the charging beasts neared the satellite. If luck could have been on their side at least once during the damn mission, it should have been now. Half the squad was dead in the previous fire fight, but they weren't lost. Not completely anyways. Adryann had snatched their tags and stuffed them into her pack. Finally the compounded blast and shock wave rattled the ground. The two men stopped and neared Adryann as they watched as the cloud of fire, dirt and sound neared them.

"We need to keep going." Adryann said as the noxious cloud raced towards them. The creaking sound of metal and the crashing of concrete drowned out the wind.

Adryann looked around for some place to take cover, but there was nothing. They had cleared the debris field and were now way out in the open. She slammed the two men to the ground and dove on top of them to shield them. The hot air rushed over her in unending waves. She felt her skin burning in her armor and she cried out. Searing pain shot through her thighs in the last few moments of the devastating aftermath.

All things calmed at once. All Adryann could here was the sound of her heart in her ears and her forced breathing. She tried to move off the two men to let them up, but her body wasn't letting her have it.

"Kaidan? Are you two alright?" Adryann gasped.

"Yes, Commander. You?" Kaidan answered as he squeezed himself from under her.

Jenkins laid for a minute more and nodded at her. His eyes were wide with terror though. Something obviously wasn't right.

"And the krogan?" Adryann asked. She felt faint and her head was heavy with sleep.

"Don't worry about them. We've got more pressing concerns." Kaidan answered looking over the woman still lying on her stomach.

"Don't try to get any ideas, Lieutenant." Adryann snickered. She winced when she moved to try and sit. "How bad is it?"

"Not good." Kaidan answered, ignoring her comment. "It looks like a piece of re-bar has impaled your thigh."

"Well isn't that just wonderful." Adryann grumbled. "Take it out and let's go."

"Shepard, I don't think that's a good idea. I think-" Kaidan started.

"What?" Adryann snapped.

"It might be keeping you from bleeding out. If I remove it, you'll bleed out." Kaidan continued.

"Just take the damn thing out. I don't want to die here, not at the hands of them." Adryann yelped.

Kaidan furrowed his eyebrow and sighed. "Are you sure?"  
"Just do it." Adryann moaned. She couldn't take the pain anymore. Her perception was starting to fail, when she felt the yanking of the rod ripping the already damaged muscle more. She choked out a scream and laid her head to the ground.

Jenkins grabbed her hand and squeezed. Kaidan stopped and stood up to gain more leverage and yanked again. The pressure was unbearable. It took every ounce of willpower to not pass out from the immense pain.

Adryann held her breath as Kaidan tugged again and it slid free. The feeling was reminiscent of a cork from a champagne bottle. Adryann gasped once she was free of what had stabbed her and flipped over onto her back.

The sky was a rusty orange now as the sun began to set. Nary a cloud was in the sky, but the overhead wisps of black smoke and dust smudged the sky. It was eerily peaceful. The thudding of heavy feet had stopped.

_Luckily that dish fell on the krogan stampede and killed the whole lot of them. _

Adryann pushed up on her elbows to see the damage. Kaidan was looking it over assessing it himself. Red blood caked the brown dirt and it pulled under her leg.

"How bad is it?" Adryann finally asked.

Kaidan shook his head. "Thank god for installed medi-gel ports."

"You ain't kidding me." Adryann snorted. "Help me up Jenkins. We need to get to our pick up."

Jenkins grabbed her hand and pulled her up and flung her arm over his shoulders. Kaidan joined taking her other arm. Adryann hobbled on one leg, not daring to apply pressure to the damaged limb. Her two human crutches led the way, rifles slung over their backs.

Over the emergency comm channel they picked up chatter from the various races coordinating attacks, drop offs and pick ups. They continued walking as the transmission droned on.

Little by little Adryann gained more strength. Her leg still throbbed excruciatingly, but at least she knew she was going to survive.

"So what are you going to do once you get back to base, Kaidan?" Adryann finally asked, trying to break up the monotony.

"Oh, I don't know. The guys were going to go to the officer's lounge and have a few drinks." Kaidan answered.

"What about you?" Adryann asked Jenkins looking him over. The young man shook his head for a moment and sighed.

"Probably going to write to my parents. I haven't done that in so long." Jenkins answered.

The three grew silent again as dusk fell. That beautiful sunset faded way to darkness. In the foreign wasteland anything was possible.

"What do you plan on doing when you get back, Commander?" Jenkins finally asked.

"I dunno. I never have enough time to do really anything, to be completely honest." Adryann answered with a chuckle.

"Ah! The life of an officer. The work is never really done is it?" Kaidan snorted.

"Don't mock me, Kaidan." Adryann laughed. She nudged Kaidan with her torso, throwing the three of them off balance. Kaidan caught himself quickly and recovered the other two before they fell at his feet.

"Alpha squad, this is STG Captain Kirrahe, we're here for rendez-vous. What are your coordinates?" The high pitched voice came over the radio like an alarm.

The trio stopped walking as Adryann answered back. "Sector 3-5 alpha tango charley. There are only three of us now and we have injuries. Request medical teams ready when we board."

"Affirmitive Alpha squad. Coordinates locked, pick up in fifteen minutes. Medical team will be on stand-by." Kirrahe answered followed by a long line of static.

"Well, guys, mission accomplished." Adryann smirked. "Might as well wait till they get here. We don't need to get lost out here."

They sat down waiting for transport, weary, battered and bloody. Every muscle ached when used. Adryann rotated her shoulders feeling the tension build up then release.

_Mission accomplished, indeed. Three more people won't be coming home._


	2. Unconventional Meeting

Adryann paced the cargo hold of the alien cruiser, her leg stiff from its injuries. She inhaled the foreign air and released it. It's musty, metallic smell was overpoweringly pungent. She looked over at Kaidan and Richard who were asleep on some nearby crates. Adryann, on the other hand, couldn't rest, her mind wouldn't allow for a moment's respite; but the silence was nice indeed. Adryann hopped up on a nearby crate and sat. Her legs dangled over the edge. She crossed her ankles and gently swung her feet back and forth, letting the heel of her boot hit the metal crate. It slowly reverberated under her with each concussion.

She folded over her legs and looked at the large scrapes and gouges in the metal floor. Each marring line told a story, a dull one, but a story nonetheless. When she tired of staring passed her feet, she came back up, becoming dizzy for a moment. She grabbed her pack and poked through it for a few moments before finding the indulgence she'd been aching for since Rothla. She pulled out a smoke, an egregious addiction, but what could she say, she of all people knew she wasn't perfect.

She lit the jutting stick and slowly dragged on it. Picking up her backpack and setting it behind her she noticed movement from across the hold. She hoped that it wasn't paranoia from a lack of sleep. But given the circumstances, she couldn't blame herself for the instant adrenaline burst she had.

The low hum of the engines couldn't mask the sound that was growing closer to them. Adryann pushed herself off the crate. The weight of her sidearm pulled at her hip. A reminder that she was still armed. Her boots thudded gently as she hobbled over to Kaidan. She shook him carefully, so as not to startle him. He picked his head up, eyes still closed and mumbled incoherently for a moment before laying back down.

"Kaidan, get up." Adryann whispered. She nudged him harder to emphasis her insistence.

"Hm?" Kaidan asked. His eyes slowly opened and he looked at Adryann for a moment in a daze.

"We've got company." Adryann spoke, her voice a little louder than before.

Those words shot Kaidan right up. Being on the turian ship made the three very uneasy, given the inalienable tension amongst the turians and humans. Adryann for the most part played the diplomatic role with the officers as she was the commanding human officer there.

"How long have I been out?" Kaidan asked, sitting up and rubbing the rest of the sleep from his eyes. He turned to Jenkins and tapped his boot to wake him.

"A few hours tops. You guys were asleep already when I came back from medical." Adryann answered. Her eyes never left the location of where the noises came from. From behind her, she heard Jenkins uniform shuffling and a stifled yawn.

"How are you feeling, Commander?" Jenkins finally asked. He yawned again longer than the first one.

"I'm good." Adryann spoke, her attention unbroken.

Kaidan slid off the crate and stood beside Adryann listening for a moment and then looking at Adryann. The sound of boots came closer, stopped and began again.

"I'm assuming our hosts are coming to finally greet us." Kaidan choked out. He rubbed his shoulders and ran his fingers through his hair.

Adryann looked over at him. The obvious tension on his face was a sign of a migraine coming on. She never answered though. She took a step and then another and were met by three turians walking towards them. Adryann stopped as Kaidan and Jenkins came from behind her.

"Commander Shepard?" The turian spoke in a near antagonistic tone.

"Yes." Adryann answered back. She looked the three turians over. Each armed to the teeth with hardware.

"Captain Saren Arterius. I'm sorry we couldn't find you better place to stay when you first came on board. We were told that we were getting passengers on short notice." Saren said, his remorse halfhearted at best. He looked the three over for a moment before returning his attention to Adryann. "These are my fellow officers, Staff Commander Nihlus Kryik and Lieutenant Commander Garrus Vakarian." The two turians nodded but remained silent.

"Is there something we could help you with?" Adryann asked, bypassing all the pleasantries, but trying to maintain a neutral decorum. She took a final drag off of her cigarette and dropped the smoldering butt onto the floor before extinguishing it completely.

"There is." Saren answered watching Adryann pick up the piece of trash and tuck it in her back pocket. "Your Alliance would like to speak with you in private. We did manage to find you up with better accommodations for the time being. Nihlus here will show them to their quarters. Commander Vakarian will take you to the comm room for your meeting. I must go though, I will see you at dinner." Saren hissed. He turned and left, his heavy boots banging the deck.

"Could you guys give us a moment?" Adryann asked the two turians who stood at attention. The one named Garrus nodded once and that was all the acknowledgment she needed. Adryann looked at her friends for a moment before speaking in a hushed whisper. "You guys go with Nihlus. Try to play nice. Understood? I will be back in a little while."

Kaidan and Jenkins nodded at her. They grabbed their gear and started with Nihlus out of the hold. Every few feet one of them would turn back to check on Adryann.

Adryann limped to her pack and grabbed another cigarette. She lit it and threw her remaining items in to the bulging sack in a haphazard fashion. She felt like she was being watched by the turian that remained. She quickened her pace, grabbing her helmet and rifle. When she had all her things ready, she turned back to the turian who hadn't taken his eyes off of her.

"Are you ready?" He finally asked, his voice low and growling, even over her translator.

"I am, Commander." Adryann answered taking another drag off of her cigarette. She looked the turian over sizing him up. He was definitely tall. Not the tallest person she'd ran across and not near as tall as a krogan, but a hell of a lot taller than her. His blue eyes piercing and violent were offset by the blue colony markings that blared across his face. His demeanor was that of a turbulent man but kind in nature.

"Garrus." He corrected. He smiled faintly as his mandibles trembled nervously. The sharp pointed teeth peeked from his mouth. It almost looked threatening, but his tone told otherwise.

"I'm sorry?" Adryann asked. She was snapped away from her observations back into the conversation that had began.

"You don't have to call me Commander." Garrus started. His eyes danced. His curiosity piqued by the human.

"Oh, right. Sorry." Adryann spoke, feeling sheepish. "You can call me Adryann. Or Shepard. Take your pick." She extended her hand to the turian who stared at it in confusion. He accepted it and shook her hand. Not many humans showed platitudes the way she was, but he liked it.

"Adryann is fine, I guess." Garrus spoke, letting the name roll off of his tongue slowly. He looked down at the small woman who was staring at their hands. His grip was firm until she looked him in the eye.

"You can let go now." Adryann snapped. A lopsided smile crept across her face.

Shocked that he'd been grasping at her hand for so long, he released her from his grip and frowned.

"Sorry." Garrus mumbled as he broke her stare.

"Don't be sorry." Adryann purred as she slung her pack over her shoulder.

She started to limp passed Garrus when he cleared his throat and stopped her.

"Do you need help with that?" He asked, concerned by the lode she was carrying.

Adryann shook her head. "I'm good."

The two walked out of the hold together; never acknowledging the other glances of curiosity.

* * *

"Commander Shepard. It's good to see your mission went well." Captain Anderson spoke with a ring of glee in his voice.

"It did, Captain. Little hiccups along the way, but still we completed our goal." Adryann spoke. She looked at the opened door to the turian who was posted at it.

"How are Lieutenant Alenko and Corporal Jenkins?" Anderson asked, the screen slightly flickering as the man folded his arms.

"No worse for wear. They're a little tired, but who wouldn't be after that?" Adryann answered. Her parade rest position made her thigh ache.

"How are you doing? Captain Kirrahe mentioned that you were injured." Anderson asked, his demeanor one of concern.

"Nothing I won't live through." Adryann spoke avoiding the pain as much as she could.

"We need to talk Shepard. There are some things going on here in Alliance space that you need to know about." Anderson started. Adryann's posture became rigid in a blink.

"What's going on?" Adryann asked, not waiting for her commanding officer to continue.

"The krogan are making a push to take some of our planets in the Attican Traverse. Mindoir, Eden Prime, Akuze and Noveria seem to be the next targets according to recon analysis." Anderson continued. "The Alliance wants you to work with the turians on a mission, but first we need you at the Citadel."  
Adryann grew quiet for a moment and lifted an eyebrow for a moment. "What do you need me to do once we get there?"

"We'll tell you once you are docked, just meet with the liaison and he'll give you all the information that you need." Anderson told Adryann.

"Understood Captain." Adryann grumbled.

"Captain Arterius has already been given instructions from the turian military to rendez-vous with us on the Citadel." Anderson spoke. "Just be careful while your there, Shepard."  
It was a questionable remark. Be careful where on the Citadel or on this cruiser. It didn't fit with the rest of the conversation so Adryann shrugged it off.

"I will Captain." Adryann answered back. She looked over her shoulder again and noticed that Garrus was standing in the door.

"I'll see you when you get here, Commander. Godspeed." Anderson said.

"Thank you, sir." Adryann said, as the screen went black.

Adryann turned from the monitor and rubbed her eyes and then her thigh. It was screaming from tension and it felt like the wound had started to bleed again. She sighed letting in ebb on till she could release anymore air.

"Is everything alright?" Garrus asked.

Adryann nodded closing her eyes. "The krogan are advancing into Alliance space, it seems."

"Sorry to hear that." Garrus said. "I didn't mean to interrupt your meeting. I apologize."

"Don't worry about it, Garrus." Adryann spoke as she shrugged off the transgression. "It was just a status report."

"So we're going to the Citadel? I haven't been there in a while." Garrus spoke with an unexpected enthusiasm. Adryann looked at him for a moment. She had never been to the Citadel personally, but the way Garrus had asked the question, he seemed all to familiar with it.

"You've been there before?" Adryann asked as she nimbly stepped towards him.

"Not recently. But I have been there a couple of times." Garrus answered with a small smile.

"Well, this'll be a first time for me. I can't wait." Adryann spoke, the sarcasm was thick and Garrus could feel it.

"It's not all bad." Garrus tried to reassure her.

"Didn't say it was." Adryann said. She bent over to pick up her items but her leg gave out. She toppled over and landed on her hands. "Fuck! Shit! Damn it!"

Garrus ran up to her side and offered to help her up. Adryann looked at him and conceded to his aid. He hefted her up and grabbed her items before she could attempt to get them again. She shot him a look but digressed when he shook his head.

"I'm ready to go back to my cabin, I guess." Adryann grumbled.

"Do you need to see the doctor first." Garrus asked, concerned by the red blotch that stained her fatigues.

"No, I'll be fine." Adryann snapped back, trying to wave off the last of his concern.

"Commander, I really think that you should see the doctor." Garrus pleaded. He pointed to the spreading stain. Adryann looked down and stared as it slowly grew and dripped causing smaller spots to form near her boot.

"Fuck." Adryann spat. "Fine. Alright, I'll go."

* * *

Adryann walked into the quarters where Kaidan and Richard were. The two were sitting around a table with playing cards laid out. Garrus walked in behind her and placed her packages near the door. He nodded to the two men and turned to leave.

"Thanks, Garrus." Adryann spoke.

"If you need anything else let me know." Garrus acknowledged, half turning to her voice.

"When's dinner?" Jenkins called.

Adryann chuckled and shook her head. "What he said." Adryann said, pointing into the room.

"Another hour or so." Garrus answered.

"Do you even have things we can eat?" Adryann asked crossing her arms.

"We do. You're not the first aliens to be on this ship." Garrus answered back in a snarky tone.

"We'll see you at dinner then, I guess." Adryann spoke as a happy grin appeared.

"Sure. I look forward to it." Garrus spoke, his mandibles trembling with excitement. He looked at his omni-tool and back at Adryann. His smile faded and he cleared his throat. "I have to get to a meeting, but I'll see you then."

Adryann nodded and waved as she walked back into her room. Kaidan and Jenkins were staring at her as she closed the door behind her. She sat on the bed, propping her leg up along the edge.

"How was the meeting?" Kaidan asked, ignoring the scene he just witnessed.

"We're going to the Citadel. The krogan are moving into our territories." Adryann answered.

"Damn, that's last thing we need." Kaidan said. His shoulders sagged for a moment and then resumed their normal staunch position.

"We're going to the Citadel?" Jenkins interjected. The intrigue in his voice made both Kaidan and Adryann look at each other with a smile. He was like a small child awaiting Christmas or was being told that he was getting a puppy.

"Anderson said we're having a meeting, but he wouldn't give away any details. Probably given who our hosts are." Adryann said. "What are you too playing?"

"Skyllian Five. Want to join?" Jenkins answered.

"Sure." Adryann said as she scooted to the nearest chair between the two men.

"I can understand, Captain Anderson's reservations." Kaidan spoke as he dealt the hands out.

"I can too." Adryann agreed as she looked at her hand. "How was your walk with Nihlus?"

"Nice way to change the subject." Kaidan mumbled as he thumbed his cards.

"Isn't it?" Adryann jabbed.

"Silent." Jenkins finally answered. He looked at his cards for a moment. "I fold." He tossed the cards on to the table backside up and sighed.

"How was your walk?" Kaidan asked. His eyes locked on Adryann. They were intense as he looked for any sign of a response.

"It was fine. I had to go back to the med bay. I started bleeding again, but other than that, he seems like a very personable individual. I can honestly say though, he isn't like your typical turian." Adryann answered.

"What do you mean?" Jenkins asked, confused by her comment.

"He has a stick up his ass, like your average turian, but he talks to you like your more than sludge, I guess." Adryann spoke as she she shuffled the cards.

"Well there is a first for everything." Kaidan jabbed.

"True enough, Kaidan." Jenkins agreed.

They laughed and argued over hands, but it was nice to finally let themselves go. First names were used and not ranks. Being stuck on an alien vessel with former enemies everywhere, the best thing to have is friends in your corner.

Adryann clipped her hair back and grabbed a cigarette. The camaraderie was a wonderful break from the war and political tensions. She sat out a few hands and leaned back in her chair. She closed her eyes and listened to the mindless chatter of the two men. It was a warm and welcoming feeling to be amongst friends and colleagues. It was a moment in which she wished wouldn't end.


	3. The Pawn

Adryann stood on the balcony of the human embassy, silently watching the many races go about their busy lives on the Presidium. Each one going from one location to another without a moments hesitation to stop and enjoy the scenery. Birds chirped their songs in interludes of their own daily grind. It had been so long since Adryann had heard the sounds it was majestic to hear and calming to the frantic pace at which she lived her life. She turned back to Kaidan and Richard and smiled as the two chatted idly in anticipation of their conference with Captain Anderson.

Two days aboard the turian cruiser had wound the trio up. The stares that were placed on them like a laser sight made them uncomfortable and on edge. They had confined themselves to their quarters just to avoid any confrontation that could come from a slipped word or unintentional gesture. She hadn't bothered telling Kaidan or Jenkins what Captain Anderson had told her. There was no need to add to the stress that they all were under. Especially Jenkins. Eden Prime was his home planet; even though her own colony was going to be under attack shortly, there wasn't much that could be helped when stranded hundreds of light years away.

Adryann took out a cigarette and lit it, the tedium was killing her and even once the news was told to them at least there would be something to look forward to in the way of action. She knew that they were sending her back out into the field. The liaison that they met when they docked at least leaked that much, but was not so kind as to give them the full details. _Probably for the best._ She took a drag off of her cigarette and still watched the false calm that took over the station. The artificial sunlight made the place more cheery than what you'd see back on a birthday card back at home, but she wasn't complaining. She'd been told by C-Sec officers that frequently made their rounds in front of the embassies that they were well prepared for an attack if the krogan hordes decided to attack the Citadel. Of that response, she chuckled to herself. Most of the people hadn't even seen a krogan in person, just on the vids.

"Commander? What do you want to do once we're done with our meeting?" Jenkins asked perusing the byways and bridges.

"It depends on what they want us to do and when we're supposed to do it." Shepard answered as she flicked the ash from her cigarette.

"Well, I hope we can at least stay and see the sights." Jenkins continued with an overabundance of enthusiasm.

"This isn't a vacation, Corporal." Kaidan yelled to the young man in a tone that an officer would give to his subordinate.

_Trust me Jenkins. You won't want to stay._

The door swished open, making Adryann turn to see who had entered. Captain Anderson and from what she could gather from the liaison, Ambassador Udina walked into the office. Their faces were filled with frustration and angst. She put out her cigarette and went to sit down at the table beside Kaidan with Jenkins in tow. She propped her feet up on the table in anticipation of whatever disheartening news they came to deliver to the marines.

Captain Anderson didn't bother acknowledging her actions. They knew each other too well to argue the specificity of decorum. Shepard was Shepard and she did what she was supposed to when ordered, but her quirky and sometimes cold nature rubbed people the wrong way. Anderson saw passed that, she was good at what she did and got the job done. Whatever subtle body language she gave, meant volumes to all of them. She knew something was up and she was just awaiting the bad news.

Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina rounded the table and paused. Neither man knew where to start. It was like speaking a foreign language, even if their translators were working. Captain Anderson cleared his throat and scratched his head.

"Let me start by saying that its good to see you three alright. I know the past few weeks have been tough on you, but there is still more to do and less time to do it in." Anderson stopped and looked at Udina who was still scowling to himself. "The problem we are facing now isn't just time, but man power. The Alliance has called all its reservists and formerly retired officers into active duty again."

"The Council is asking much of us for in return for helping us." Udina interrupted. He just wanted to get to the heart of the problem and not beat around the bush with technicalities. "The turian military is offering up some of its top soldiers to help us fend off the krogan soldiers that are planning to invade the Traverse.

Adryann nodded for a moment and looked at Jenkins with a sad look, knowing that the mission briefing that they were now going to be assigned to was going to make Jenkins look towards the nearest airlock to get to Eden Prime.

"What are they going to be helping us with, Ambassador?" Adryann finally asked, knowing the answer all too well.

"Some of the warlords are on the move, and you three are going to split up to take care of some of our colonies." Udina answered, looking at the woman for a moment. "There is a price for this though."

"Which is, what? More concessions?" Adryann questioned.

"Wait Commander. Which colonies are we talking about?" Jenkins interjected. He sat straight up in his seat. His eyes were filled with fear, if that's what Shepard could call it.

"Eden Prime, Mindoir, and Noveria. We aren't too worried about Akuze at this point given its distance to the mass relay used to get to Earth." Udina answered. His words were cold and uncaring. He knew that they all had stakes in their colonies.

Jenkins jumped out of his seat and looked at Shepard, unable to think or say anything. He stammered repeatedly, shocked that the krogan were so close to his home. Adryann placed her hand on his arm and squeezed gently, trying to get him to sit down so that they would continue.

"As I was going to say before I was interrupted." Udina continued. "The price is: you, Commander."

Adryann dropped her feet to the floor and she herself almost stood in retaliation over the admission.

"What do you mean me?" Adryann dryly asked. Her natural curiosity overrode her instant confusion.

"In exchange for the turians helping with our garrisons, you have to work with them." Anderson said, trying to make the statement seem as if it was just any other mission. It wasn't. There was more to it than that. There had to be more than that.

"Is that it?" Adryann snapped. "I mean, what do the turians want with me?"

"We don't know Shepard." Anderson frowned.

Adryann turned to Kaidan and shook her head. "This is bullshit."

"Commander, you are more important than anything we have to offer to the turians or to the Council right now." Anderson stated. He looked Adryann in the eye and her stubbornness subsided.

"Really?" Adryann asked in a snide and sarcastic tone. She was trying to nag them on to get more information out of them. They were holding something back that was for damn sure.

"That's all we've been told so far." Udina grumbled. "The turians aren't being very forthcoming with their intentions. Nor are they willing to go as far as to say why they want you. You're probing for more information like you are from people who know about the same isn't helping this situation."  
"Let's just get back on track." Anderson interrupted the verbal sparring match. "You are going to be separated into three teams with the turians. Each team will be in charge of neutralizing the threat."

"Any specifics, Captain?" Adryann asked, intrigued ever so slightly.

"No. There's nothing concrete as of yet. The final details won't be ironed out until tomorrow. The Council called a recess." Anderson answered, looking at Udina with a glare.

"Are the turians were working with getting the same talk?" Adryann sneered at the insinuation of the two species amicably working together as much as they tried to one up the other.

"They are getting the same information you are getting. Nothing more, nothing less." Udina answered.

"I'm sure they're just as pleased about working with us as I am about this whole debacle." Adryann growled.

"Don't worry, Commander. Everything should work out fine." Anderson spoke. His reassurances were hollow to her. He knew as well as anybody that this wasn't going to work; even under the best circumstances.

"Tomorrow?" Kaidan chimed in finally. "We have to wait until tomorrow?"

"Correct, Lieutenant. We can't send you three off blind. Recon is still writing up their finally results and determinations, while the deal between the Alliance and the turian military still needs to be brokered in regards to Commander Shepard." Anderson put his hands behind his back, in his personal defensive position. He didn't like the idea of one of the best marines being handed off to the turians any better than the prospective object sitting across from him with squinted eyes. "I do suggest, however that you take some time for yourselves."

"Where are we supposed to go till then?" Kaidan asked.

"We've got you set up in a hotel down in the wards, near the markets. It's nowhere near five star, but its the best we can do for the time being." Anderson answered.

Adryann sighed and nodded, completely dissuaded from an agreement that made her a usable item.

The three marines stood and saluted their good byes to Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina. Each one of them carried an air of discord for what they had been thrust into. They turned and marched towards the door, only stopping to collect their gear and making their way out.

* * *

Shepard, Kaidan, and Jenkins sat a rounded table. Music blasted from the sound system overhead, making any conversations a screaming contest. Flux was buzzing with intoxication and beats that were over powering to the senses. Quasar machines chimed the wins and losses of willing participants to the gambling stations. Adyrann dreaded the person who decided that this was the best place to unwind for a few hours. She looked at Jenkins, her heart heavy for the corporal who made it completely obvious that he wasn't enjoying himself either.

Adryann took a swig from her beer and set it down heavily. The thudding made the table shake and shutter under the force at which she'd placed it. Kaidan looked at her and frowned. The three had been on more missions than they could count on both hands, and now the fun was at an end. Their little group was going to be separated for an unspecified amount of time. Probably never, the way the Alliance liked to work over the marines and disband what they knew worked.

"So-" Adryann trailed off, trying to break the monotony. "How are you guys feeling?"

Jenkins looked up from the glass sitting in front of him and sighed. He didn't have to say anything. Alenko and her knew exactly what was on his mind.

"It's alright, Jenkins. We'll take care of it before the krogan do anything." Adryann spoke, trying to reassure him with a faint smile.

Richard shook his head. He didn't believe what was going on and that their hands were tied for the time being. He was more than happy to be assigned to some elite group under the order of Commander Shepard, but even he knew that as of this moment, she couldn't do anything.

"What about you, Commander? Your own colony is at risk." Jenkins asked. He slid his finger down the glass before picking it up and sipping from the magenta alcohol in the glass.

"I can't do anything about it. You know that, Jenkins. If I could be out there with the garrison I would be, but I can't. It doesn't make me feel any better, but I know that even if they do step foot on the soil there, one of us will be there to kick them with a boot back to where they came from." Adryann answered.

Jenkins relaxed at her comment. She was distressed too. Even if she tried to hide it with her cool demeanor, it was written all over her. It was her home, just as Eden Prime was his.

"What do you think the turians want with you?" Kaidan broke the depressing conversation and turned it into one of complete and utter conspiracy.

"I have no clue." Adryann answered, shaking her head. "This whole damn thing doesn't make any sense." Adryann thought for a moment and bit her lip as she pondered the reasons, but none of them made sense.

"Do you think they're going to use you against us?" Jenkins jumped in with his theory.

"Why would they do that?" Adryann asked, looking at the corporal. A flash caught her eye and she turned to follow its source.

In the doorway stood Saren, Nihlus and that other turian who's named evaded her. She turned to Kaidan and nodded in the direction of the turians. He turned and looked at them and back at her and shrugged. Adryann turned and watched them talking amongst themselves and walking to the table in the farthest corner. They were completely oblivious to the marines and probably for good reason. Adryann didn't want trouble. A certain paranoia filled her and her suspicions were finally met when the turians looked at her.

Saren was muttering something to the other two, making sure that she knew that he was talking about her. The one she'd talked to before, smiled weakly but it faded when Nihlus nudged his shoulder.

"We should probably go." Adryann snapped.

Kaidan looked at the turians and then at Shepard. He knew something was up, by how quickly the three sat rigidly in their seats and were staring at them. Kaidan cleared his throat to get Jenkins attention. He was amidst his thoughts and chugging his drink when Kaidan finally got through to him. The two men stood one to each side of Shepard and started towards the door.

"You know, I'm kinda hungry, Commander." Jenkins moaned. His words slurred in an inebriated fashion.

"I don't think so, Corporal. We need to get you back to your room." Adryann answered. Her tone near a motherly song.

"I'm fine. Really." Jenkins continued.

Adryann shook her head. It wasn't the first time she'd heard that line uttered by someone or herself for that matter.

"No." Adryann barked. She turned to look back at the turians who had remained in their positions, but were still watching her as she grabbed Jenkins' arm to lead him to their hotel.

* * *

Adryann stood waiting in a small deli, awaiting her order for Kaidan and herself. She'd left Kaidan to watch Jenkins, while she went to get food. The main deciding factor a quick game of rock-paper-scissors.

She watched the workers behind the counter scrounging up the bits and pieces of her order in a rather sloppy fashion. Nothing ever looked pretty or damn near edible after midnight. She tapped her foot impatiently as she tried to will them to hurry the hell up.

"Commander Shepard." A voice growled. It was right on top of her.

Adryann stopped and looked to see it was that Saren, Nihlus and- _what was his name_ from before, standing behind her

_Oh this can't be good._

"What do you want?" Adryann asked. Her voice was stone cold. She didn't have time for the BS that was probably going to be thrust upon her. She had enough of that going on.

"Have you heard what's going on?" Saren asked, not shaken by the petite woman's tone.

"I did." Adryann snapped. "Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. Nothing. We just wonder what you think about the situation." Nihlus responded. He stared at Adryann as she shifted quickly.

"Which situation? There's a lot of shit going on. The turians helping with our garrisons or the fact that I seem to be a bargaining chip for the help." Adryann sneered. She looked over at the deli people, who had stopped to see what was going to unfold in their store.

"Bargaining chip?" Saren questioned. "We didn't hear anything about that." He turned to the other two. They shook their heads unable to respond to the look they were getting.

"You didn't hear?" Adryann asked with a lifted eyebrow.

"No. Tell us." The blue eyed turian urged.

"I can't. I don't have much information about what's going on. What I can tell you is that my squad is being torn apart and politics are a bitch." Adryann snickered.

"We heard that your team was being torn apart. Are you going out on any special missions afterward?" Saren asked. His usually mean voice was calmer and more accepting of the exchange of information.

"Supposedly. Like I said, I don't have much." Adryann said with a shrug.

"Guess we're in the same boat." Nihlus sulked.

"I guess so." Adryann spoke with a sigh.

"We just figured you'd know." Saren smirked.

"What about you guys? What are your plans after this? I'd figured that you'd be gone shortly after you docked." Adryann asked.

"We got called to a meeting with General Oraka and our ambassador shortly after we docked." Saren answered quickly.

"Really." Adryann spoke with an unamused tone.

"We're being separated too." The striking one answered.

_Of course you are. Fuck. It all makes sense._

The shuffling behind the counter finally stopped and the woman at the register cleared her throat. Adryann turned and glared at her sharply. She was more frustrated now than before. She looked up at the three turians and pointed at the food now wrapped in a paper bag.

"I'm sorry. I have to cut this short, but I need to get this back to the Lieutenant." Adryann apologized as she made her way to the counter.

The three turians resumed the same grumbling that she'd seen before. It was a more heated and confusing exchange this time, given the circumstances, but Shepard knew that the discussion really had nothing to do with her and about what was going on. She paid the woman behind the counter and grabbed her order.

She walked to the door and stopped.

"Hey!" Adryann yelped. The turians looked at her in a near domino effect. Each one carried a confused look on their faces about the interruption in their conversation. "I guess I'll be seeing you all tomorrow." A smile crept across her face. "I'd also like to add that I'll be pleased to work with which ever one it is for the attack."

The turians cocked their heads and stared. She'd fed them just enough information to keep them up all night discussing their own conspiracy theories about the mornings events. It was just a mind game to her and she was completely lying to them. She just wanted to get under their skins in as quick a time as possible. She didn't want to play their game and didn't want to be handed over to them for whatever reasons. She was an Alliance soldier, not an ace in the whole for the politicians to throw out there for their own devices.

Before Saren could question her about her comments, Adryann walked through the door and the comfort of it closing behind her made her give a sigh of relief. She made her way back to the hotel in as quick as possible. Obviously she was going to be late due to the interrogation that she was put through, but she knew Kaidan wouldn't mind. Not really. He'd more than likely be concerned that they had ganged up on her in the first place.

Opening the door to Jenkins'room, Adryann noticed the lights were out. She flicked them on and saw Jenkins sprawled out on the bed passed out and Kaidan asleep as well in the chair nearest the door. Adryann smirked at the sight and sounds of snoozing. She slowly tip-toed around Kaidan and crossed the room to the table and chair near the window. She stood looking out at the massive station that stretched for what equated to miles in her mind. It was beautiful and was much different than anything she could put a name to. She sat, placing the sack on top of the tabletop and kicked off her boots. She wriggled her toes letting them breathe without the confines of footwear to bother them.

She flicked on the daily vids and watched all the news updates from the Alliance and other species with their updates that were long and slightly terrifying if she thought about it too much. The krogan were making pushes and had single handedly taken down several more colony planets from the salarians and the asari, but the Alliance was now under the gun of losing their own. Adryann watched, her body giving out slowly to the warm arms of sleep. The heavy smell of bread and meat still clouded her senses, but her body yearned with an inalienable hunger for rest and not sustenance.


	4. Certain Things Cannot be Undone

The early morning hours, as Adryann could decipher, blared angrily in the window of the marines' room. She sat up slowly, the chair's slight groan under her weight froze her in a heartbeat. Her back throbbed and her legs felt like one ton weights to her still exhausted body. Positionally, it was the worst one she could have taken, but for her it was better than sleeping on the crates four days before.

Adryann sighed to herself as she looked over at Kaidan still slumbering across the room from her. His arms crossed across his chest and his head tucked into his left shoulder. His slow breathing escaped into the open room but only was amplified on sight by the slow rise and fall of his chest. Adryann cocked her head for a moment at her comrade in arms, worried and slightly exhilarated by what the day had in store for them.

She loved adventure; that much was clear. She loved the heat of battle, the final kill shot, the violence; but to some extent, she'd grown weary of the push and pull that the politicians and admirals of all the races were placing all the small group that now seemed intrinsically tied to each other. Three missions, three groups, two man teams... one objective. The heavy price for aid? Her. Mind, body, soul, thoughts all to be the property of the turian government and military. A rush of dread filled her thoughts. Self-doubt was an evil foe, hatred and desire that fueled her to topple her enemies but left her empty in the wake of disaster. Her missions, failures. All failures. Her life read like one big damn survival manual. A shitty fucked up nightmare that haunted her in all aspects of her current life.

She lit a cigarette and checked her omni-tool for the time before rousing the pair of men. Jenkins was still alive from what Adryann could tell. His nauseated groans were punctuated by the smacking of his lips. Adryann knew that sooner rather than later, he would learn the horrible realities of the hangover from drinking salarian vodka. Adryann expelled her inhale of smoke as she rose to wake up Kaidan. Her feet slowly waking from their slumber sent pins and needles up to her knees. It was a pain that was more annoying than anything.

Kaidan stirred as she approached. Each movement made her pause briefly. She slowly reached out to touch his shoulder when Kaidan opened his eyes with an almost gleeful sparkle to them. She jumped back. The cigarette slipping from her fingers.

"Damn it, Kaidan." Adryann spat out as she bent down to pick up the still light item from the floor.

Kaidan stood up and stretched. A small chuckle escaped him. Adryann looked up at him and scowled. She sat on the bed and smacked Jenkins on the heel of his boot. He groaned once and rolled on to his back. She attempted again to rouse her friend and struck his boot with more force.

"Quit it," grumbled Richard.

"Jenkins, get up." Shepard spoke in a calm demeanor.

Kaidan, in the meantime, had resumed his perch in the chair with a weak on his face. Adryann looked at him and squinted. She was growing frustrated at the situation. Her head throbbed to a beat all its own. She felt like she was the one with the hangover.

"I don't think that's going to work, Commander." Kaidan finally chimed in.

"You think you can do better?" Adryann shot back. Her eyes became narrow at the audacity of the lieutenant's critique of her actions.

"No, I don't think I can do better. I'm just saying even without the post-inebriation, Jenkins can be difficult to wake up." Kaidan answered. He shrugged slightly and sighed as Adryann resumed her failed attempts to wake up the sleeping corporal.

"We have that meeting to get to and I would like to make sure that he's ready to go and not still stumbling drunk when we get there." Adryann explained, lifting herself off the bed to extinguish her cigarette and get a glass of water from the bathroom for Jenkins. "If you want to try and do the job yourself, you are more than welcome to it."

She lifted the handle to the sink and the even flow of water filled the glass to about full. "Could you go to my pack and get my aspirin and set it on the nightstand?" Adryann called as she turned to exit the bathroom though, in came Jenkins running near full bore into her causing the glass of water to spill onto her uniform. Jenkins ran passed her, completely oblivious to the accident and knelt at the stool and lurched forward damn near missing the toilet with each purge.

Continuing out of the room and shaking off as much of the water as she could, she walked around to her pack that had obviously remained untouched, and grabbed a new top to replace her drenched one. She didn't care that Kaidan was in the room still. She had nothing to hide from him. He'd seen her in less, by accident, but still, he'd seen it all on more than a couple of times. In the field, there was little time for discretion. Lifting off the tank top that she wore under her BDU jacket and tossing it in the bag and replacing it with a fresh new one, she turned and looked at Kaidan who didn't bother acknowledging the fact that she had changed within ten feet of him and put her button down jacket on.

Jenkins continued retching for a few more moments and then grew silent. Adryann and Kaidan looked at each other for a split second before Adryann nodded towards the bathroom. "Make sure he didn't pass out in there. If you have to force it down his throat, give him the pain meds and make him drink the water. I have to get to that stupid meeting." Adryann ordered dryly.

"You aren't worried about what they have in store for us or you for that matter?" Kaidan asked as he took a step towards the bathroom door.

"Why should I be?" Adryann answered making her way for the door with a cigarette in her lips. She stopped and looked back into the room, seeing her side arm still on the bed, she grabbed for it and slinging the holstered piece to her hip she smiled faintly and left the room. She hoped to herself though, that everything that had been told the previous day wasn't going to be as bad as she had perceived it to be.

* * *

The door swished open to Ambassador Udina's office. That sickeningly cheery faux sunlight bled into the office casting warped shadows from the trees outside the balcony's edge. The open room was oddly silent. There were no birds singing, no idle chatter from the walking commuters or the subtle whistling from C-Sec officers patrolling the area. It was a complete one-eighty of the day before.

Adryann stopped for a moment as the screaming feeling of paranoia washed over her. Something had happened, but in her hurry to get to the meeting on time, she failed to check the news vids. If anything had happened, she would be the last one to know.

Still staring out passed the geyser like fountains across the vast distance of the Presidium, still waiting for the birds to sing or the idle chatter, or footsteps, still hoping that she was wrong, but knowing in her gut she was probably right she rounded the corner to sit at the table she had done before and was stopped suddenly when she noticed the three turians from the night before sitting in silence. Each had there own tasks going on. Neither one stopped to greet her. She didn't even think that they really noticed that she was there. Adryann paused again and adjusted her her side arm again. She pulled up a chair next to the turian with the piercing blue eyes and proceeded to take her usual position. Legs propped up and her arms folded behind her turians stopped their beeping and button pressing and looked at Adryann with a more startled look than she had anticipated.

"Morning." Adryann smirked, knowing all the while that it wasn't good or bad. Just morning.

The three just nodded and resumed their previous activities. Adryann sighed and let her head fall back against the back of the seat. Her black cherry hair fell just over the edge as she looked at the ceiling. There wasn't anything to do. Wait. Time passed. Saren coughed. Time passed some more.

Tedious as it was, the faint aroma of tension and indecisiveness swirled around the four silent partners.

Finally the door swished open, catching Adryann's attention like a twig snapping in the woods at night. She turned her head and saw Kaidan walking in with Jenkins only feet behind him. Jenkins skin was a lovely shade of pale green. He squinted as he entered the room. The obvious headache etched into his forehead like a beacon. Kaidan approached and sat next to Adryann and looked passed her at the turians doing their work.

"So what's been going on?" Kaidan asked in a hushed whisper.

Adryann pulled herself up a little and looked at the turians also and shrugged. "I dunno. We haven't really been doing anything." Adryann answered.

"Have they said anything yet?" Jenkins asked as he took his seat next to Kaidan.

Adryann looked at Richard and shook her head. "No."

So again, they waited. The familiar game of 'hurry up and wait.' It felt like an eternity and Jenkins was growing restless and agitated. For obvious reasons. He knew what was going on and wanted to know what the assignment was and how he was going to be a part of it. His incessant muttering under his breath was grating on Shepard's nerves.

Before she snapped at the corporal for the same thing that was racing through her veins she popped out of the chair and sat on the ledge of the balcony; her back to the sterile whiteness that had shrouded the metallic natural colors of the station. Her frustrations were slowly ebbing when in walked Ambassador Udina, Captain Anderson, and the turian general Oraka. Each man carried with them two datapads. Obviously one for each person involved in the ultra secret, high priced operation. Adryann quickly trotted from her spot back to her chair and waited anxiously for the assignment to be doled out to them.

The same familiar awkward pauses and glances now appeared from the higher-ups in a near deja-vu moment. _Great. Now what? _She looked over the three men towering over her. She licked her lips and grumbled to herself. Her once calm demeanor now shattered and fragmented, was replaced by a deep desire for answers. Many answers. Starting with what the hell are they doing there and what the hell was the mission and why the hell was she getting turned over to the turians. She hadn't done anything to them to get their attention. Or so she thought.

"We should probably get this out of the way." Anderson started. All at once, Anderson slid a datapad over to Adryann and waited. She looked it over. Scanning the rolling text that read like stereo instructions and a sinking feeling that hit her like a ton of bricks broke her eye sight as she read in spurts.

_The military personnel that will need to be acquired to complete our objective would cost many lives. Human and turian casualties are already at an all time high and the asari and salarians are on the ropes themselves._

_Strategically, the krogan are within both the proximity of the Citadel and the Sol. Though their sights are directed on human colonies for the moment, there is nothing to guarantee that they won't soon turn to invade the Citadel. Measures have been taken to ensure the safety of the inhabitants of the station by increasing the number of ships that patrol around it, but a krogan armada would be devastating. _

_While both the Systems Alliance and turian military are leading on the front with combatants and the asari and STG are doing recon, the threat is very real that there will be an insurmountable amount of fatalities on some of our colony worlds if we do not do something to quell the situation as soon as possible._

_It is with that, that both the Alliance and turian military have come to the conclusion that an all out assault would be preferable._

_Our own intelligence puts our estimates that several ground units of platoon strength have touched down on each of the planets within the Attican Traverse. _

_Three two man teams will be sent to take out each outpost being held by the krogan. The salarians are working on a solution as quickly as possible, but will not be concluded by the time the teams will have completed their objectives._

_In compliance with the wishes of both parties, Lieutenant Commander Adryann Shepard will be placed into the custody of the turian military until the salarians have finished all research and a solution established. This will in turn give the Alliance the use of the turian military's personnel to help defend positions._

"You've got to be shitting me." Adryann snarled out loud. "This is an indefinite tour with them? We need the manpower that bad?"

"Commander, you don't seem to realize how dire the situation is." Udina interjected. "This is a time for diplomacy."

Adryann jumped from her seat and slammed her fist on the table. "I'm all for diplomacy, don't get me wrong. But this is fucked." She stared at Udina for a long second before storming from the table. She didn't care about the spectacle she had made in front of her superior officer or the new one she was going to have to be working under. It was bullshit. Rhetoric. There was no real reason written anywhere for why she was going to be used like she was by the Alliance or the turians. _Fuck them_.

Everything was side stepping the reasons and causalities of the trade. There had to be something better than her. _This is bullshit._

She paced silently. Yet listened all the while to the conversation that continued on. There wasn't time for a snit people's lives were at stake. Questions were asked about what was to happen and it was pretty clear. Three teams, three missions, three planets, one objective. Each team gets there own job and joins with the others and then jumps to another planet to do the same thing and hopefully they would get there before the hostile take over didn't devastate everything in its wake.

"Commander Shepard?" Anderson called as if meaning to draw attention to her. Adryann snapped back from her cloudy thoughts and realized that she had stopped pacing and was now staring down the group. Her hands balled into fists.

"Yes, sir." Adryann choked out, trying to keep together whatever dignity she'd had remaining.

Her throat clenched tight as she stifled back another tirade that was building up in her.

"Do you know what we're saying?" Anderson asked, crossing his arms.

"Yes, sir. I do." Adryann answered back. She relaxed a little when Anderson in his own way showed what little compassion he could through military stature. She was his second in command. It had to hurt him as much as it killed her to be manipulated like she was having done to her. She slowly edged back to the table to sit, but General Oraka threw his hand up to stop her.

"We won't stand for that type of attitude amongst our troops. You can complain all you want to yourself, but you have a job to do. You are not being bumped down to a lowly soldier. You will still maintain your rank while you are within our ranks. Do you understand? I will not have you making a mockery of our army." Oraka barked. His ice cold tone snapped Adryann out of her pouty self-loathing and almost contested the esteemed general by laughing in his face.

Instead, she nodded in acceptance and sat down. Her hands were tied and there was nothing she could do about it. Her tenure within the Alliance military was over as of 0330 that morning. Two hours after she'd fallen asleep and hoping that everything would be more copacetic in the morning.

"What do you mean in our army?" Saren asked. His eyes darted from Oraka to Adryann with confusion.

"For the duration of the Rebellions, Commander Shepard here, will be joining the military." Oraka answered. He didn't have to give any details, but giving the three turians that much was enough to stir the pot slightly. He wanted to light a fire under them.

"You can't be serious?" Saren barked. "Why would the military want a human with them?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measure Captain. The Alliance is asking for our help and they are strapped for resources and the next valuable thing they have next to that is Commander Shepard. Her impressive service record will greatly benefit the military." Oraka sprang back, not missing a beat.

Saren went to open his mouth to retort the complements he had leaked into his ears by his superior officer, but stopped when Oraka shot him a stern, menacing look.

Adryann propped her head in her hands and looked at the floor. There was nothing better than feeling ostracized by not one but two races. Deep down she felt like a pariah or a lamb being sent up for sacrifice. She didn't know which feeling was worse. She sighed and looked up at Anderson for a moment. All clarity seemed to crash at once within her.

"Alright. I'll do it. I won't bother protesting. I'll do my job and I'll do my job damn well." Adryann pepped up slightly.

"Good to hear, Commander." Udina finally spoke. "You are doing a great service for your species."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Adryann scoffed.

"I think its time that we got them paired off so they can get to know their particular missions and who they will be teaming with." Anderson addressed the general and ambassador.

"I agree." Oraka snorted.

* * *

"So Commander, how do you actually feel about the situation really?" The blue eyed turian asked. He sat across the small table for two in the same little deli from the night before.

Adryann stared at her food, forking the meat a few times and shaking her head. "What is there really to say?" She asked, never meeting his gaze.

"I don't know. You're angry?" He spoke in a half-joking tone.

Adryann set her fork down and looked at the turian at a loss for words. Was he mocking her?

"Commander-" Adryann stopped before verbally assaulting her now partner for something that he himself had nothing to do with or control over. She sighed and gathered herself. "I am upset."

"You don't like turians?" The turian asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I don't hate turians. I just don't like how I'm being handed over like I'm some object." Adryann snarled.

"Oh. I'm sorry." He answered looking away from her and out the window out onto the promenade outside.

It was late and not many passer-bys were out at the hour. Several hours and the two hadn't said anything to each other let alone looked in each others' directions. There was a lot for all of them to come to terms with in a short amount of time. Everyone felt out of place when their teams were dismantled and the people that they had come to trust with their lives were no longer going to be there to have their backs.

A low din of silence filled the spaces between the two. Adryann cleared her throat trying to get her partners attention. She got none from him. He was lost in his own grief about the same things she was dealing with.

"It's just a job though." Adryann spoke in a matter of fact tone.

"You don't have to call me Commander." The turian muttered.

"Excuse me?" Adryann asked. Her confusion completely unhinged.

He looked over at her. His blue eyes piercing her to her very core. She was uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her. The same looks she had given him were now being returned in spades or daggers or whatever the hell the violent instrument he chose to use.

"Just call me Garrus." He sighed.

"Sorry." Adryann mumbled. She had completely forgotten his name. But if they were going to be fighting side by side with each other to save human colonies they might as well be on a first or last name basis. I didn't matter the rank, they were the same. Equals. "Then you can't call me Commander either." She retorted.

"Level playing field it is then." Garrus snorted in agreement. "So do you know exactly how all of this is going to work?"

Adryann looked at the datapad to the left of her and picked it up. She scanned over the briefing and nodded.

"We'll meet with the garrison commander and then our job is to do a search and destroy type mission. Kaidan and Saren will be meeting them head on with the garrison and ground troops. Nihlus and Jenkins will be destroying what ships they have." Adryann answered.

The mission seemed simple enough, but so was the last mission. It was simple, up until they got to their target. It was a cluster fuck from there on out, but mission success meant simple. It definitely couldn't be any more difficult than that.

"It sounds like your last mission." Garrus responded.

Adryann looked up from the datapad and stopped. It did. Her job, go behind enemy lines and blow something up; but now it was her practically clearing everything between Jenkins and the ships.

"It does, but why does this one seem to be more secretive?" Adryann asked.

"I have no clue really. Maybe it was the deal that the military made between each other." Garrus asked, just as confused as she was.

Adryann shook her head. "No, I don't think so."

"Are there any bigger assaults going on or are you sure we're the only ones doing something like this?" Garrus asked, hopeful that they wouldn't be the only three teams making suicide runs by themseleves.

"There isn't. They would have said." Adryann answered, before setting the datapad back down.

She looked at the clock on the far wall and sighed. It was late and they would be leaving in a couple of hours for their first destination. Mindoir. Her home. "We should probably get ready to leave." She stated.

Garrus nodded and stood. "Do you want me to walk you back to your hotel?"

Adryann looked up at foreboding figure and lifted an eyebrow at the question. "Don't you have to get ready yourself?"

"It's already been taken care of." Garrus answered.

Adryann smiled and nodded. "Sure, I could always use the company. Jenkins and Alenko should already be getting their things together and dealing with their own partners."

"Dealing?" Garrus bit back.

"Don't worry about it. I didn't mean it like that. They'll probably have already cleared out and headed for the ship. I told them to go on ahead. I haven't eaten all day." Adryann cooed.

She nodded towards the door with a grin when she realized she still hadn't eaten yet. She grabbed her sandwich and munched on it as Garrus held the door for her.

He watched as she ate voraciously. He couldn't comprehend how someone so small could eat something so large, so quickly. He didn't want to say anything and stifled laughter that made an attempt to escape him. She kept with him with every step. Each bite she took meted in four four time.

Garrus was truly amazed by her, even though he had no idea who the red head with wispy fringe was. He had no idea Mindoir was home to her. No idea about Akuze. No idea about her past. She was an enigma and a deadly one at that. Yet, here he marched in long strides. Her doubling her step to keep up with his single step. There were few facts that he knew about her. She was working with him and she was going to have his ass no matter what. Or so he hoped. The outburst from her showed him a fire that was all consuming and if approached incorrectly the back draft would leave him a smoldering corpse.

"You don't really have to come up, do you?" Adryann finally asked.

Garrus stopped abruptly at the question. "I don't have to if you don't want me to."

"I have to change. I'm sure you don't want to bear witness to that." Adryann prodded.

She was relaxed with him. Whatever problems they were having within themselves would be sorted out on the killing fields of Mindoir. There would be no time to dally with thoughts of rage and hatred and the inalienable discord that she felt since the minute she found out she was being traded off. She was going to need him to keep her alive and vice versa. That's what allies did. Friends.

She wouldn't push that word to far though. She didn't have time for friends. The relationship that she had with Alenko and Jenkins was cultivated in the soil of blood, death and destruction. They were practically born to kill in a war that wasn't even for them. _If the damn turians hadn't started shit... _Thoughts like that caused conflict and they had to stop. Nothing would get accomplished and then the shit would really hit the fan and she would have no one to blame but herself.

"I'll cover my eyes." Garrus answered. He didn't care if she was going to be changing. He could be a gentleman for her and not some curious lecher.

"If I catch you peeking-" Adryann started.

Garrus shot his hand up to stop her. "You can shoot me." Garrus grinned.

"I'll accept that." Adryann grinned back.

* * *

The room was dark when the arrived. The temperature was unnaturally cool. Adryann turned on the lights and saw that all of Alenko's and Jenkins belongings were already gone. She was the only one left that needed to gather her stuff and get the hell on the ship. She crossed the room without saying a word. She acted like she did with any one else. She had no shame and nothing to hide. Garrus sat in the chair near the door and propped his feet up on the bed.

"Close your eyes." Adryann ordered without turning around.

She slowly relieved herself of her sidearm and threw it on the bed. The incredible release in weight was a shock to her back and hips. She looked out the window, her back to Garrus and unbuttoned her shirt. She set it on the bed and examined the turian with his eyes closed. She turned back around and took off her tank top. Each layer of clothing that she was relieved of was one more swathe that brought her closer to being completely exposed to her guest. She stared at her reflection in the window and saw that when she looked at Garrus, his eyes weren't closed.

He looked at her more out of curiosity and not out of longing or urgings or arousal. Whatever his business was it was going to be short lived. She wrote it off and continued undressing. She slid out of her pants leaving on but a bra and panties. The small jewel that dangled from her belly button was her hidden secret that not many people say. But as she pulled her dress uniform out and slowly started to dress again. Grabbing a t-shirt and pulling that over her head she finally turned around.

"You can open your eyes now." Adryann snapped, playing into his game. She tucked her pants in but he wouldn't open them.

"Are you sure?" Garrus asked in a sheepish tone.

"You know you were caught then." Adryann prodded. Her tone was icy cold. She didn't like being played.

"I do. I'm sorry." Garrus answered.

Adryann pulled out her dress jacket and buttoned it up. It seemed like a ridiculous thing to have to wear if she was going to be walking into a war zone in a matter of days, but because she and Garrus were going on a human vessel, she had to at least play the part. It was going to be one of the last times she's be walking on board a frigate for some time. After Mindoir she was going with the turians along with Garrus. After that, still, she had no idea what she was supposed to do or what her mission was going to be.


	5. Through These Eyes

_I awake, 0400, the low hum of the engines completely overshadowed by that damn VI telling me to rise for my duties. It's constant and droning on._

"Commander Shepard, it's 0400." _ It belts at me incessantly._

_I groan, _"For god sake's shut up."

_The first night in a foreign bed, aboard a foreign ship. It's unnerving. I can hear the people outside my cabin door. The daily grind continues on, day and night. One more day and I will be at my destination. Another thirty-six hours and I will be dropped into a war zone. I will be home, but it won't be my home. A hostile environment, completely stripped of all that I remember._

"Commander Shepard, it's 0400." _The damn VI reminds me again._

"Yeah, I'm up." _ I bark. _

_I don't open my eyes. I lie. I know what's in store for me this morning. The usual meeting and updates. The same reports to be filled, the same maintenance. It's the same routine. Captain Anderson will be there. Tomorrow nights my last night on a human led vessel._

_I sit up finally. The starched sheets are uncomfortable but warmer than the rooms atmosphere. I look into the dim lit across the room. It's the only one shining like a beacon. It casts a dismal hue on me. Where are my cigarettes? I scrounge for them on the night stand and find nothing. _

"VI, what's on the schedule?"_ I finally ask. _

_There's a slight pause. Almost like its thinking. I should remember what's going on today. It never changes. I rise and stretch. I quickly make my way to the chair across the room to get dressed while I wait. It was odd that it was taking so long._

"You have a meeting with Captain Anderson at 0500, Commander. Followed by calisthenics in the cargo hold." _ The VI's monotanous voice rambled out. _"At 0700 you are to meet with-"_ It continued._

"I'm supposed to meet with the turians, Kaidan and Jenkins."_ I interrupt. _"What about the rest of the day?" _I finally find my cigarettes on the desk. It's about time. Surely I had time to get in a cup of coffee before the meeting. I had time. _

"You have one more meeting with the turian military before you touchdown and then the rest of the day is yours." _The VI answered._

"Really?" _I ask. I don't usually have a ton of free time to myself._ "Who ordered that?"

"Captain Anderson did." _The VI responded._

_I make my way to the door. Still tired, still tapped out of giving a shit. There is still noise from the outside. I open the door and make my way into my normal grind._

* * *

The smell of the morning hit Adryann like a boxer's right hook. It was nauseating. Being so near the mess area weren't the finest accommodations, but she did get her own room. It was the only consolation she got. A warm bed, but all the responsibilities that came with it.

She rounded a corner towards the mess hall and was greeted by the clanging of pots and pans and the pungent aroma of burnt eggs.

"Damn it I told you to watch those." A balding man screeched at younger man next to him behind the counter.

"I'm sorry, sir." The young private murmured.

Adryann didn't approach immediately. She just watched as the older man made a scene. He picked up a pan and tossed it into the sink and swore up and down at the young man. His imposing demeanor made most of the crew kind of side-step the cook instead of just ignoring him. It was impossible to do so.

"I have to deal with these damn aliens on this ship and now I have to deal with some half-assed private that can't even scramble a damn egg without killing it." The cook continued.

Adryann stormed up to the counter and cleared her throat. "Sergeant!" She barked.

The cook and private both stopped arguing and came to attention when they noticed Adryann standing there.

"Sorry, Commander." The cook grumbled. "I was just trying to-"

"Make our guests uncomfortable?" Adryann snapped. She crossed her arms and glared at the man.

"No, ma'am." The cook stammered. "I don't have a problem with the aliens on board."  
"Funny, because it sure as shit sounded like you had a problem." Adryann pointed out. "We don't need that bigoted shit on this ship. Captain Anderson expressly reminded everyone-" Adryann started and she turned and looked at every marine in the mess hall. "Everyone that these are allies and they are helping us."

"With all due respect, Commander. We didn't ask for their help." The cook blurted out.

"You have no fucking idea." Adryann shot back. "These are our colonies that are being attacked. These are our families and friends at risk. If the turians want to help then let them."

"You seem awfully confident that they won't stab us in the back later." A marine from behind Adryann yelled out.

Adryann turned abruptly towards the marine. She went to open her mouth to admonish the marine, but stopped when she saw Garrus, Saren and Nihlus standing off to the side at the end of the hall. She didn't know how long they were standing there, or what they had heard, but from the looks on their faces they knew about the topic up for heated discussion.

"What is your name, marine?" Adryann asked, taking a step towards the man.

"That's Michaels." Kaidan spoke for the young man.

"Kaidan." Adryann turned. "When did you get here?"

"Don't worry. I heard enough from the CIC." Kaidan reassured Adryann. "People that were coming up were talking about how some Commander was berating the cook."

"Then you know why this asshole needed to be berated." Adryann questioned.

Kaidan nodded. "Michaels report to Captain Anderson."

The marine put his tray down on the table next to him. He hesitated for a split second. "Yes, sir." He quickly saluted and just as fast made his way out of the mess.

"I think everyone needs to get back to their departments and do their damn jobs." Adryann started. "If I hear any other remarks about the turians, then be prepared to be put on report."

It wasn't a threat. It wasn't necessary to have to deal with the drama on ship. She understood that there was tension about everything. The war, the fact that most of the people were unfamiliar with the turians or just didn't plain like them because of their less than warm greeting at Relay 314. It still wasn't going to be tolerated.

Slowly, one by one the marines filed out of the mess hall. Adryann stood for a moment, letting her temper simmer before acknowledging the cook again.

"You on the other hand are going on report now. Now get out of here." Adryann snarled.

The cook nodded and scowled. He couldn't believe he was being booted out of his kitchen. The young private went to follow the chef but Adryann cleared her throat. "Not you." The private stopped. His eyes were large and he shirked at the commander who was eying him. "Do we have any coffee?"

* * *

Adryann and Kaidan walked into the briefing room in silence. Both still fumed about the altercation in the mess hall. Of all the times to have a completely bullshit argument about the turians being on board the Alliance's prototype ship, then was not the time. It was ludicrous and that was putting it kindly.

They took their places at Captain Anderson's side and waited for Jenkins to enter. The turians were making their way to their seats when Jenkins bolted into the room. His face was flushed and he stammered out multiple apologies in rapid succession. Captain Anderson just shook his head and waited for every one to take their positions.

"First off, I want to apologize to you three for the attitudes of some of our marines." Captain Anderson spoke. His eyebrow furrowed as he looked at the turians.

They didn't say anything. They didn't have to. They just stared blankly as if they had shrugged it off all together.

"Commander Shepard. You handled the situation as calmly as you could." Anderson continued.

Adryann just shrugged. What else was she going to do? Just stand there and let a mini-revolt take place. Not under her watch.

"So there's been a change of plans from what Arcturus station is telling us." Anderson spoke.

"A change, sir?" Adryann interrupted.

The room filled with a confusion that made everyone stiffen briefly. A pin drop would have made a deafening sound in there. The turians looked at each other and then back at Anderson.

"Yes a change." Anderson answered. "Things seem to be more dire than we first anticipated." Anderson paused and shook his head. Adryann knew by his expression something was wrong. There was no shaking the nagging feeling that was tugging at her gut. "Noveria is lost." Anderson blurted.

"Lost?" Adryann asked. _ Lost, lost, lost. _It took a moment before it started to sink in. "Lost!" She finally yelled. "What the hell happened?"

"There isn't much in the way of information about what happened." Anderson sighed. It pained him to admit that he didn't have all the answers, just bits and pieces. "We got a distress signal at 0200 from Port Hanshan and then there was nothing. One of the cruisers went to investigate and we haven't heard back from them either."

"So what do you need us to do?" Kaidan asked, sitting straight up in his chair.

"Continue with your task that you've been given. There is nothing else that can be really done right now." Anderson sulked slightly.

It was painful news. They were so close to home and they had even less time to do their jobs. Adryann's throat ran dry. A rage and ire filled the room. The turians mumbled between themselves and looked back at Anderson. They didn't know what to do either. They were just as stuck as the rest of them.

"I want you ready to go. There won't be time to do anything else once you get there." Anderson choked out.

"And until then?" Adryann asked.

"Make sure you have everything you need, Shepard. It's going to be awhile before you are on a human vessel." Anderson answered. It was a cruel reminder of the deal. It sent a shiver up her back. Shepard sighed slowly and shook her head.

"I understand, Captain." Adryann croaked.

"You have the rest of the time to do what you will. Just be ready." Anderson repeated.

"What are we supposed to do once we get there?" Jenkins finally asked. In all the chaos of new facts he was remarkably quiet about the news. It was unsettling for Shepard when she looked over at the young man and his expression was completely blank.

"We'll discuss that tomorrow. Crew dismissed." Anderson's authoritative voice slowly regained its control of the room.

Adryann stood up quickly and stormed out of the room. There was much to do and little time to do it. Enough time had just passed that the krogan could easily be setting their sights on the next planet. She knew that they had already landed on Mindoir, but the garrison forces and the reinforcements from the turians had pushed back the invaders enough for them to even get ground side. Which was an amazing achievement in and of itself.

When she got in the elevator to go down to the cargo hold to get her stuff out of her locker a VI came over the PA, "To all marines assigned to calisthenics, as of right now, Captain Anderson has suspended them till further notice. Please maintain your posts until specified otherwise."

* * *

Adryann sat on the deck of the cargo bay, her legs splayed wide with her guns in pieces. She mulled over her thoughts and the news. It had been a shit day already. First the incident in the mess hall and now Noveria is gone. To what extent was anyone's guess. On top of all that, she had that sinking feeling that there was something wrong with Jenkins. She couldn't put her finger on it, but it was bad.

She continued working on her personal arsenal in slow succession. Her cigarette jutted and trembled between her lips. Her concentration ever distracted and her focus still scattered she stopped and stood up. Her body was blasted with heat in her uniform. She slowly unsnapped the clasps confining her and through the jacket on the nearby locker.

Adryann paced around wringing her hands as she looked over her incomplete work. Slide oil and grit ground into her hands. She ground out her smoke and resumed her task. One part at a time with loving detail, no inch was untouched. Her hair fell to her face as she bit her lip in concentration. Her weaponry was the closest thing she had to children in her life.

Slowly sliding locks and bits into place, she noticed foot steps approaching. Someone was coming and they were alone, but they weren't going to deter her from her work. She quietly hummed to herself as the footsteps came even closer and stopped behind her. She hesitated for a second to see what they were going to do, but when nothing happened she set one gun down and took up another one to give it its own dose of TLC.

"Adryann, you alright?" Garrus finally asked as he knelt next to her.

Adryann didn't say anything. It was pretty obvious that things weren't alright. They were on borrowed time and with the impending krogan horde breathing down their necks, things looked bleak at best. Adryann looked at Garrus who was holding his assault rifle with its butt into the deck. He kept staring at her as if to get her to say something, but Adryann wasn't in a mood to talk about feelings or thoughts.

"Garrus?" Kaidan called out. "You found her." He jogged up to the two of them and stood behind her.

"I did." Garrus acknowledged with a nod. "She doesn't seem to be in a chatty mood."

"She rarely is when she's doing this." Kaidan said. "It's like an exercise in stress release."

"You know I'm sitting right here and I'm not stressed." Adryann grumbled. She never stopped working. Her hands swept over the parts with ease and finally sighed as she slid the last slide into place. "What do you guys need?" Adryann stood and grabbed a rag from the floor and started cleaning the crud from her hands.

"We were just looking for you." Kaidan answered.

"Is there something wrong?" Adryann asked. She hoped that there wasn't more news coming her way.

"Commander!" Jenkins called from the elevator.

"Great. Are we having a pow wow down here now?" Adryann dryly asked. Her few minutes to be alone were finally stripped away by everyone coming down to find her.

"There's nothing wrong. We were just looking for you. You left the meeting pretty abruptly." Kaidan spoke. "We were concerned."

Adryann sighed and shook her head. "There's nothing to be concerned about. I'm fine."

Garrus and Kaidan looked at each other and then back at Adryann who had started packing her personal armory back up.

"Tomorrow's it." Adryann finally stated. "We'll be there in the thick of things."

"We'll do our best commander." Kaidan affirmed.

"I know you will." Adryann agreed. "Let's get out of here. I think a cup of coffee would be nice right now."

The four walked back to the elevator and waited for their stop. Each one looked at each other and new that after tomorrow any one of them could be dead. It was a horrendous feeling, but that was the gravity of the situation. They all knew that. They were the best, and picked because of that fact.

* * *

As the elevator door slowly opened to the second floor, a riptide of screams and taunts filled the car they were in. A sudden thud and a snarl greeted them as they sped from the elevator towards the sounds emanating from the kitchen.

"We need security up here now!" Adryann barked.

Kaidan and Adryann ran into a scene they weren't prepared for. Tables were tipped over and food was strewn from one end of the mess hall to the other. The yelling continued and the flat sound of a punch landing made Adryann's stomach tie in knots. They cut through the wall of marines that were chanting and goading the combatants on.

When they finally reached the center to get the best view. The noise died down, but the fighters kept going.

"What did you say?" Nihlus yelled. His right mandible dripped with the blue blood as he moved.

"We don't need your kind here." The cook from earlier had spat. His nose was bleeding and his left eye was swollen shut.

"That's what I thought you said." Nihlus snarled.

He lunged at the overweight cook and grabbed him by the collar and picked him up off the ground so they were seeing eye to eye.

"Garrus! Go get Saren!" Kaidan called over his shoulder. He looked at Adryann as she took a step forward.

"That's enough!" Adryann ordered. They didn't hear her. They fight was on and their tunnel vision had made her completely mute to them.

Nihlus through the cook across the room and the man groaned as he hit the ground. Adryann ran to get in between the two of them. One to stop Nihlus from doing something stupid. The other he was in enough shit as it was.

Nihlus didn't care. He shoved Adryann out of the way and kept going towards his target. Adryann regained herself and grabbed Nihlus by the arm to pull him away so Kaidan could get the cook. Nihlus spun around and swiped at Adryann with his sharp talons. Adryann dodged, but was still nicked across the chin by it.

"Sonofabitch." Adryann spat. "Stop!"

Garrus and Saren returned with the security detail on their heels.

"I will kill you!" Nihlus gnashed at the wounded man on the floor.

"Commander!" Saren barked.

Nihlus stopped and looked at Saren. He calmed, but was still really tense under Adryann's grip. Her chin throbbed and she could feel the slow dripping of blood from her wound. She took her free hand and wiped it away, but it still dripped.

"Captain." Nihlus answered. He looked at Adryann and then at Garrus and Kaidan. "We were just settling something."

"You were not just settling anything." Saren snarled. "The Alliance doesn't deal with their issues this way. We're on their ship so we do things their way."

"I understand Captain." Nihlus sulked. He looked at Adryann's wounded face. His eyes were remorseful for wounding her. It wasn't his intention. He didn't even realize it was her.

"Fine, go get checked out by the medic. We'll deal with this after you are done there. Come and see me before you do anything else." Saren order. "Commander, are you alright?" He looked her over for any other injuries.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." Adryann shrugged. The stinging kept nagging at her, but she shrugged it off all the same.

"Commander that's a pretty big gash. You should probably get it checked out." Kaidan urged.

"I'll go in a little bit. I have to file this with the Captain."

"Don't worry about it, Commander. We can take care of it from here. You just take care of yourself." Saren pushed also. He noticed in Adryann bit her lip the slight white of the bone underneath.

Adryann looked at the three of them and sighed. She wasn't going to get away from them about it. "Fine, I'll go if it'll make you feel better."

* * *

"Commander. Is there something you need?" Doctor Chakwas asked. She didn't continue her questioning when she noticed the long bloody, deep line running across Adryann's chin.

"I got skimmed." Adryann smirked. "But its fine."

Doctor Chakwas shook her head and nodded towards the bed. Adryann moved slowly towards it as the initial adrenaline rush started to fade away and was replaced by the all too obvious flap of skin that was gaping as she moved and clenched her jaw.

"Is this from the fight out there?" The doctor asked as she dawned her gloves.

"Yeah." Adryann answered. She looked over at Nihlus who was sitting at the far end of the bay and the cook lying between the two of them. "Is he alright?" She pointed at the chef, who was in a deep sleep.

"Him? He's fine. He's got a concussion and a broken eye socket, but nothing that won't be mended with time. Nihlus over there seems to have taken a blade to the face." Doctor Chakwas scowled as she thought about the foolishness that had gone on.

"So how bad is it?" Adryann asked. She winced when the first coat of medi-gel hit the wound. Her eyes teared and burned from the smell of the ointment.

"It's going to scar." Chakwas answered as she opened another ampule. "It could have been worse."

Adryann looked at Nihlus. He was watching as she was getting patched up. His mandible was bandaged, but the slow ooze of blood marred the white gauze.

They sat for a few more minutes with a couple more layers of the healing salve placed. Nihlus finally slid from the caught and stopped at Adryann's side.

"I'm sorry, Commander." Nihlus whispered.

"Don't worry about it." Adryann mumbled. There was nothing that could be done about it now other than what was going on now.

"I just wanted to apologize." Nihlus stated.

Doctor Chakwas looked at Nihlus with a stern look and left the two of them. She did all she could for Adryann at that point.

"Come back if the pain gets worse." She told Adryann before turning her back to file her medical report.

"What happened?" Adryann asked as she hopped off the bed.

"It doesn't really matter does it?" Nihlus grumbled. He started towards the door and stopped when Adryann grabbed his arm.

"It does matter. We can't keep having this happen. It's just one more day." Adryann spoke. Her concern for her party member still shone through, even though she tried to avoid it.

"The same shit from this morning, just taken a step further." Nihlus answered.

"That's it?" Adryann prodded. "That's not much of an answer."

"We heard about what he said and Saren told us to ignore it and we did." Nihlus stopped.

"But?" Adryann urged him on. She let go of his arm and started towards the door.

"He instigated it." Nihlus told her.

"I figured he did. That doesn't mean it's your job to knock some sense into him." Adryann snapped.

"I know Commander. I have to deal with Saren and his rant and probably Captain Anderson's as well." Nihlus said. He knew that he'd fucked up, but that didn't give him any consolation in the fact that at the time he thought he was doing the right thing.

"You'll be fine." Adryann assured him.

They walked out of the med bay and saw the marines that were rooting for the fight were now cleaning up the mess and devastation that was the aftermath of the fight. Garrus was standing near the elevator talking to one of the security officers.

"I'm going to deal with my consequences." Nihlus murmured.

"You'll be fine." Adryann said again.

"You don't know Saren when he gets into one of his moods." Nihlus smirked. "But you will."

"That's not very reassuring." Adryann smirked back.

"Nihlus, you alright?" Garrus called to him. He walked towards the two of them. He looked at Adryann for what fell like an eternity. He scanned her pale limbs and the glowing red smear across her face.

"I'm alright, Garrus. Nihlus answered. "I probably won't be after this though." He snickered and turned to Adryann. "Thanks for the pep talk. I'll see you later."

"The circumstances better be on kinder terms too." Adryann answered with a snarky tone. She looked at Garrus who was still staring at her. "What?"

"You okay?" He asked.

"Right as rain." Adryann answered.

Garrus poked her in the arm and Adryann flinched. She looked down and saw the black and blue mark from when Nihlus shoved her aside.

"You sure." Garrus asked again.

"I'm fine." Adryann snapped. Again with the annoying questioning about her well-being.

"Kaidan and Jenkins wanted to know if you wanted to play poker with us later?" Garrus asked.

"Sure, I don't see why not." Adryann shrugged.

"Great! Nihlus, if he isn't dead, and Saren will be there too." Garrus continued.

"A party?" Adryann asked. She lifted an eyebrow and smiled.

Garrus smiled back and chuckled. "No, just a game between colleagues."

"Fine its a date." Adryann chuckled back.

"2000 in your quarters, then." Garrus grinned. He turned to leave to prepare.

"Wait." Adryann choked. "My quarters?"

Garrus turned back to her and smiled. "You have the bigger room to accommodate all of us."

Adryann went to respond, but was interrupted by the PA, "Commander Shepard, Captain Anderson would like to see you in the briefing room."

Adryann sighed and her smile faded. "I guess I better get to that." She started passed Garrus and stopped when she was aligned with him "2000 sharp."


	6. Looks Like I'm Home Tonight

Thirty seconds from touchdown the shuttle began its final landing sequence. It was silent in the cabin where the group sat. Each one checked their gear one last time before they arrived. Adryann looked out the glass to home. Shrouded in darkness and obscured by the sooty clouds from the fires down below, the subtle glimpse of dim light from where the Alliance had set up camp flickered beneath them. So many years had passed since she'd been back, but the committee on Mindoir had kept her in the loop about the improvements and restoration process as it was going on. All the hard work, gone to waste now.

Adryann turned back to Kaidan and sighed. No one knew about Mindoir but Jenkins and Kaidan. It was going to be a bittersweet return for her. Kaidan smiled faintly and placed his hand on hers. He leaned close to her and whispered, "You alright?" Adryann nodded and looked back out the window. She bit her lip as the shuttle reached its decent angle. Quickly cutting through radar detection to the ground, Adryann pulled her pack over her shoulder and closed her eyes to harden herself for the sights, smells and truth about what was coming.

The subtle bump of landing made Adryann open her eyes. The time had come to face the music. Adryann stood and took the first steps on her home land. The soft tilled soil sunk under Adryann's boots. She hadn't been back to Mindoir since she was 16, but the whole area was eerily familiar to the way she left. It never left her and here it was like she had walked back into the past and she was that child again.

The breeze carried the charcoal burning scent but underneath it all hinted of the farmlands and forests that were so ingrained into her. Her life was so much simpler back then and with all the complications that had come from birth to present turned her into the no nonsense, pessimist everyone had come to know.

Kaidan and Jenkins each flanked her side. She looked at them both and nodded. "We better get going." She told them. She started walking from the landing area towards the base camp where they were to meet the commander for a final debrief and off to fight their way to the other side of the main settlement. She activated her omni-tool and punched in some coordinates for the satellite to scan for. Home. What was left of it. The first building they rebuilt in honor of her survival. Saved just for her. She waited for her answer and kept walking. A signal told her that her request had been processed and smack dab in the middle of no man's land was her destination. Her past and soon her future were going to collide at that location at some point.

"Commander." Kaidan grumbled under his breath. "Is that the base commander?"

Adryann looked up from to see who Kaidan was pointing out subtly. Just a little ways beyond the camp's lights stood a tall man. His front completely shadowed by the darkness they were walking from. They hurried up their paces. Their packs thudded against their backs. Adryann's side arm yanked at her hip in disapproval of her speed. Closing the distance between them and the man in front of them, the onslaught of gunfire and shelling could be heard off in the distance.

"Commander Shepard?" The man asked.

Adryann stopped and saluted. "Captain Massani? It's been awhile."

"That it has Commander." Massani chuckled.

"What's the situation?" Adryann asked.

"We got the goddamn bastards pushed back as far as we can. The turians have lost a lot of soldiers since touching down two days ago." Massani answered. "Our own men aren't going to hold out much longer either."

"We'll get the job done as quick as possible, sir." Adryann spoke.

The group started walking towards the commander's quarters. The black top thudded and clacked with the sets of boots on them. Adryann looked out into the expanse and saw squads going out to the front and numerous wounded being dragged back for emergency triage.

"I know you will. You don't have too much time to waste." Massani told them. "Head out the way the soldiers are going. You'll be able to branch off and get the job done."

"Aye sir." Adryann answered. She turned to leave the small shack when Massani called to her.

"Shepard." She turned to him to see what else there was to know. "Welcome home."

It was like a dagger to her. She felt physically ill at the idea of this was now what home was. A damn war zone. She didn't say anything. She just glared at the man who was supposed to be her superior officer and stormed out without blinking.

"Shepard, what do we do?" Kaidan asked. He turned and watched as the hordes of soldiers, both turian and human made their way to the killing grounds. Many more were running back calling for medics as they dragged bodies on the tarmac.

"We stick together." Adryann answered. She lit a cigarette and started walking towards the gunfire in the distance. She pulled her assault rifle from off her back and carried it like she had so many times before.

"What about what the Captain said?" Garrus questioned. They were supposed to split up not be a complete unit.

"Fuck him." Adryann spat. The rules changed when everyone decided she didn't work for the Alliance any more against her will and without her say.

As they walked past the buildings that had remained unharmed, Adryann pictured her past in flashes. The grocer, the school, this person lived here, that person over there. The place was the same ghost town. The civilians, those that had survived the initial onslaught, had already been evacuated. Adryann shuttered to herself and kept walking. Conversations were unnecessary. Each person dealt with their personal demons on their own terms. Shepard's way was to just write it off and deal with it later, alone and in private. She didn't want them to see how inside she was crumbling at the familiarity that the place held for her.

* * *

_Hour 1_

Reaching the outskirts of town, the road split in three directions. The time to make the decision on which way to go was laid out for them to decide. The road to the west led to the wooded areas of the settlement. Great cover, but treacherous terrain with boulders and streams to cross. Slow going, but safe. Straight north would be right smack dab to the front where the main battle was taking place. They wouldn't get too far in before having to go around anyways. The east was a winding path of hills but no cover if they were found by the krogan.

"Orders?" Kaidan asked.

"Pick a path. Any of them can be our downfall." Adryann answered.

"You know this place better than any of us do." Kaidan pointed out with a snort.

Adryann sighed and turned west. Slow going physical labor, but more or less they would be undetected until they got beyond enemy lines. With some luck, they might just be able to bypass everything and be done in a few hours. A thought to even the most optimistic of people would have found hard to swallow. She could have been leading them to certain death, but the prospect of settling into that mindset was deadly in itself.

The wind blew harshly across the hills and dales that they passed. The grass whistled to the beat of fire and the bass of bombardments. It was symphonic in a morbid way. Trudging through the mud from blood and the obvious rainfall made the trek slower than Adryann thought.

The night's sky, shrouded by smoke let few but the brightest stars shine through. It's black velvet blanket expanded beyond that to the shadowy figures of the trees. Adryann quickened her pace. The trees loomed closer and the slow trickle of the stream buried within signaled to them. If it had been any other time in the scheme of things the place would be a peaceful retreat to the city life that many people had escaped to colonize this planet in the first place.

* * *

_Hour 3_

The temperature had dropped in the couple of hours of their march through the woods. The slight nip in the air reminded them that the seasons were in the midst of their quarterly change. It was cold. Each exhale that Adryann made fogged in front of her. Covertly covering the smoke that she expelled as she smoked and listened to her party members banter.

"So, Shepard is from here?" Nihlus asked. He looked around at the surroundings taken in by how little the settlement had tainted the area.

"Along time ago." Kaidan answered. He looked at Adryann for a moment and kept walking. He thought he'd never see this place in person, but here he was walking through the muck, branches and leaves of the thicket.

"Was she here during-" Garrus started. Adryann couldn't have been the person that had made all the vids from thirteen years before. She didn't look it, but then again what would a person like if they had survived that.

Adryann stopped and turned on the group like a lioness. The topic of her past was not one she took lightly. The past was the past. Who gave a damn who she was or what had happened. It happened and there wasn't a fucking that could be done about it.

"Yes, I was here." Adryann answered quickly. She licked her lips and turned back to continue walking but her thoughts still lingered on her own hypocrisy. She was drudging up the past with every thought that she had.

When she made it to the stream she stopped and leaned against the rock to rest. The conversation had ended abruptly. Like there wasn't anything else to talk about. They could have been talking about strategy or what was going to happen afterward, but the mainstay was Shepard.

Garrus came up and leaned on the rock next to her. He sighed and frowned at the woman sitting by herself.

"I'm sorry." Garrus whispered.

Adryann looked up at the turian and shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"How much further?" Garrus asked as he looked along the path.

Adryann shrugged. If things stayed the way they were a few more hours, give or take. She couldn't be sure. They had been lucky so far, but her sense told her that luck was going to change.

* * *

_Hour 5_

Following the rugged trail that narrowed between two large trees Adryann stopped and looked behind her. The crackle of thunder and shooting bolts of lightning flashed as if a rerun had started. Boot prints filled quickly into little ponds behind them. It was deathly cold and the sudden pouring of rain came with no warning. An insanity filled her. For one so fragile on the inside, the armored exterior of Shepard's frame trembled and itched in anticipation.

So long ago she was weak. She couldn't stop the batarians from what they did. She couldn't help anyone. Now she stood with a determination that was undeterred. She was wholly into the fact that her past had made her stronger and had given her a bloodlust in battle that was sometimes unquenchable.

Her body quivered in the frigid temperatures, but the closer they drew towards their destination, the more the excitement replaced the discomfort of the outside world. She looked around her, the sweet anticipation of violence had been left unchecked. She waited, eyes narrowed to the north. Any hope of killing stragglers would have made her heart soar.

"What?" Garrus questioned her, unable to see what she was looking of.

"Shh." Adryann whistled. She took a step forward and watched as a small troop of krogan were charging towards their direction.

Whether or not they had been seen was not a concern that Shepard had carried in the forefront of her mind. She turned to Kaidan and signaled that they had company and to be prepared. She pointed in the direction that the krogan were coming from. He nodded and they all sunk down as far into the ferns and fallen trees as they could. Garrus pulled out his rifle to take aim. He was ready to fire, but Adryann wanted to have a little more fun than being pinned down by rushing krogan. Actually, it was the last thing she wanted given the fact that those were powerhouses and would cover ground quickly if someone just shot at one.

As practical as it would have been for the group to fire on the advancing enemy, they needed to be dispatched quickly. Adryann pulled a grenade out of her pack and made sure everyone knew what she was planning to do. She looked at Garrus and a grin appeared across her face. When the krogan were parallel to them, Adryann lobbed the grenade into the center of the pack and buried her face into the ground.

The concussion from the blast rattled her ear drums causing them to sing in a high pitch. Rocks had flew through the air, bombarding the group like shrapnel. Adryann jumped up and walked to where the fallen and disoriented bodies lay strewn on the grass. She pulled her side arm and fired. She wanted them dead and she was going to make damn sure they were.

After shooting each corpse more than once and feeling that what she'd accomplished was satisfactory, she turned and saw Garrus and Kaidan staring at her. Each at a loss for words at the execution. Adryann chuckled. Slowly tears started to fall but the rain was falling hard enough that they wouldn't have known it was happen. Overwhelmed with the surge of emotion she fell to her knees. The untamed woman stared up into the sky. It was everything she wanted and more. She killed them before they could do anything.

She looked at Garrus with a perplexed, lost look and stood. "Scouts." She muttered.

* * *

_Hour 7_

The final hill rose to greet them. The sun was breaking the horizon when they came to its peak. The violent battle to the south raged on. To much of Adryann's surprise, the majority of the krogan forces were fighting and the path between them to where they were going to hide till dusk was relatively empty. The distraction of the fight, while sad and the casualties would be staggering, it was a necessary evil.

Kaidan stood beside Adryann and let out an exaggerated sigh. While the sight was beautiful and untouched from the siege, they realization that all things that were beautiful were usually the most deadly made him hesitant to proceed.

"We need to keep going." Adryann said, knowing all to well that there would be protests. She looked at Kaidan to see what he was going to say. There was nothing. Jenkins coughed violently as a cold had set in for him. "We'll get there and we can rest." She put her hand on Jenkins' shoulder and smiled.

"This is too easy, Adryann." Garrus interrupted. He looked through his scope and saw nothing.

"It is a little unsettling." Saren concurred.

"We can't just stay here." Adryann growled. They had to keep moving. They were out in the open and they still had a ways to go before they made it to shelter. She took the first steps down the hill. The grass was slick with water making it difficult to walk. No one followed her down. They watched from the top, concerned and uneasy by the recklessness that Shepard was showing.

Adryann looked up towards them and waved them down. Everything appeared to be safe and the house seemed to be in decent condition, given the circumstances. Garrus followed after her damning the woman for adding undue stress to the whole mission. It wasn't his place to say anything, as much as he wanted to, he kept silent.

"We need to hurry." Adryann spoke through gritted teeth. She lit a cigarette and watched as one by one they came down the hill.

* * *

Wore out from venturing so far behind enemy lines, Adryann forced the door opened to the house. The windows unprotected from the outside were blown out. Shards of glass were scattered across the floor, making crunching sounds as they walked on it. Unable to put their weapons down, they searched the house for anything. It was barren inside. No furniture no real place to hide or find cover in the event they were discovered.

Adryann marched up the stairs. Her pulse at a rapid rhythm, thudded in her head. Exhaustion and the onsets of the rare and unusual case of pluracy pained her. Her eyes darted from one corner of the room anticipating any movement. The scuffing of boots downstairs didn't aid in her instinctual paranoia. She looked out the window onto the dell and the dreadful calm that she had feared before had swept over her.

"I'm finally home, Mom and Dad." Adryann spoke out loud to herself. She smiled faintly to herself. Flashes of the hazel-eyed six year old she once was scampering in the grass with her dog were heart warming. The giggling and innocence that oozed in those youthful moments raped from her.

"Adryann?" Garrus called from behind her.

Adryann turned to him the small droplets of tears that she hadn't noticed in the brief moments before had slipped down her cheeks. Her eyes burned as she tried to dam the flow of water.

"What is it?" Adryann asked as she cleared to throat and break off the cracking that had punctuated her question.

The foolishness of emotions in the middle of a combat situation and trifling with the dead memories were the hypocritical words of wisdom that she had told every person under her command to check before walking on the field. She was beside herself, betrayed by her own words. No one had ever been in her situation before and she regretfully was placed smack dab in the middle of it.

"You alright?" Garrus asked. He looked at her for a long while, concerned by her posture. The trek was difficult for all of them, but neither he or any of the rest of them knew the personal stakes that she had held in this place.

"Welcome to my home." Adryann responded. "It's exactly how it was before-" She couldn't continue her thought. It was obvious that every one knew by now that this was where her life started, ended and was reforged.

"It's beautiful." Garrus muttered. He looked around the room, scanning it for any iota of what could be a semblance of Shepard's past. He stood in the doorway of what he could only ponder as the master bedroom.

"We should probably settle in and get some rest before we go." Adryann said. She turned back to the window before he could answer. The sun had fully risen and the twin moons still emanated the night's final cries. Black smoke billowed and swayed in the wind. Uncut and unbreakable, it weaved its many tendrils toward the sky. "I'll take first watch. You guys go ahead and grab your places." She set her rifle down and lit a cigarette and let the ever subtly rising sun sink into her retinas. "I might suggest bunking relatively close."

Garrus looked at her with a funny look on his face. The small red head leaned slightly out the window taking in the sights of the very unfamiliar familiarity of her past life. He didn't know what to say to her. The stone cold human that had nothing really to gain and more to lose than anything, hadn't pushed away her humanity, but had caught him up in it. He couldn't understand it. She revealed nothing when asked, but wore everything covertly for anyone who was actually looking to see.

* * *

Subtle gasps filled the room as Adryann peered out the window. No one was coming. No one was going. The sun blazed overhead, leaving no shadow to bask in. She sat back down underneath the window. Four hours had passed and the men of the group had aggressively fallen asleep. As much as they fought her to evade sleep, she didn't want them to be wore down.

It was her job to get them out alive regardless of what military she was working for. Saren might have had the rank, but Adryann had the determination and drive to succeed be it through diplomacy or through bloodshed. She was a double edged sword. Fight with words till an agreement is made. Cross her and you won't survive. One chance to turn and leave. One chance to forfeit.

She looked again through the window, just showing enough of herself that even the best marksmen would have had a hell of a time of tagging her. Nothing. She looked over the faces of her team and shook her head. What the hell had she gotten them into? Her selfishness drove them to this place. Not caring that she had put them in unnecessary danger.

She stood up and stretched her legs. Her eyes followed the pre-fab walls till something caught her attention. She took a step towards it. Her eyes squinted as she tried to get a better look at the mysterious eye catcher across the room from her. Tip-toeing to the far wall, she saw scratches that bled through the paint and shown to her like a beacon.

Adryann rubbed her fingers across the etched wall and remembered everything. Things that had buried. Dead and long decayed stared her in the face.

_Adryann Shyla loves Bradin._

"Oh my-" Adryan chortled. "They actually recovered that."

She stopped laughing when she realized that Bradin didn't make it. She watched him be carted away. Watched her parents be murdered. Why wasn't she found, taken, murdered, sold into slavery? More questions and never any answers. Dumb luck. Dumb fucking useless luck. The only thing that she had ever considered.

"What are you doing?" Garrus' groaning voice asked as he sat up.

"Nothing. Just remembering." Adryann answered. The actual pain of remembering was more painful than the bullets she'd taken. More painful than doing combat surgery on herself.

"Good memories." Garrus snorted.

"No." Adryann spat. Did she actually have any good memories? Or were they all overshadowed by the horrific ones and she couldn't remember them? Maybe she didn't want to remember. Remembering made it real. Not some horrible nightmare that she had dreamed up thirteen years before.

"It couldn't have been all that bad." Garrus grumbled. "You had to have had some good times."

Adryann shot him a glare. What business was it of his if she had a happy childhood or not?

"They only come back in pieces." Adryann finally answered. There was no way of avoiding the truth. She had remembered everything.

"You don't have to block everyone out, Adryann." Garrus told her. He stood and shook off the rest of his drowsiness and looked out the window. The green grass swayed as the wind grew in strength and then ebbed away for its own rest.

"I don't block everyone out." Adryann argued. She joined him at the window and leaned against the wall across from him. "Keep your friends close."  
"And your enemies closer. I get that." Garrus interrupted. "But the people who have your back aren't your enemy."

"You never know when they might be though." Adryann retorted. Her rebuttal was filled with a rock solid certainty and she had no doubt in her mind that her words were true.

Garrus sighed. He didn't know what to say about her unwavering pessimism. "Am I your enemy?" He finally asked.

Adryann blinked for a moment and thought about it. "I don't know you and you don't know me."

"Don't I?" Garrus pushed. "You can't stall me."

"What do you want to know?" Adryann asked. She leaned her head against the wall and crossed her arms.

"Tell me anything." Garrus smirked.

It was a broad request. She could of told him her favorite color and fulfilled his curiosity. Something simple, something that left no further questioning. She looked outside and watched as the sun had passed its apex and was slowly making its way to the west.

"That hill-" Adryann started. She pointed to the one that they'd crossed over to get to where they were. "When I was sixteen I got my first kiss there." Adryann stopped when she realized her admission. _What are you doing?_ She could feel Garrus' eyes on her. She didn't want to look at him. Embarrassment filled her. She mustered up the courage to finally look at him and what she saw was amusing to even her.

He was staring out the window and then back at her with a smile. Whatever thoughts were floating through his mind made Adryann self-conscious about herself. His blue eyes twinkled in the sun.

"What was his name?" Garrus asked. _Oh, here we go._

"Bradin." Adryann answered. "He was eighteen."

Adryann frowned and grew tense. She didn't want to talk about Bradin. Her puppy love crush. Her best friend. The only friend that she really had when she was growing up. If anyone had known her before the batarians, they would have saw someone who was polar opposite of the person she was now.

"What happened?" Garrus asked feeling her tension.

Adryann hesitated. She didn't want to talk about Bradin or her past, but she opened the door and Garrus was more than willing to oblige walking on through.

"He was taken." Adryann muttered. She looked away from the turian and sighed. If the whole story was going to explained, she might as well make herself comfortable.


	7. Secrets Noticed

Adryann lit a cigarette and smiled. It was an awkward feeling to be spilling her guts to someone she hardly knew, but in the rare occasions she actually opted to do it, there was no one. Her deepest, darkest secrets were going to be exposed, open for exploitation by anyone who wanted to hurt her.

"Where to begin." Adryann started.

She didn't want to tell Garrus her whole life story, but something good. The flip side was everything else. You couldn't get the positive without the negative. That's not how anything worked. Look at science. It was proven time and again that without one, you didn't have the other.

"Just tell me about that night." Garrus prodded her.

"That specific night?" Adryann asked. Not some other night, but that one in particular.

Garrus nodded and waited. That was the topic she chose to bring up and that was the one she was stuck with. Adryann exhaled and prepared herself.

* * *

Bradin was the older brother of Adryann's schoolmate, Brea. She'd known his since she was ten. The relationship when they first met was volatile at best. Each person too stubborn to be wrong, neither one wanted to point out when the other was right. People around the settlement compared them to oil and water. Not meshing well, best when separated.

Adryann's forte was the esthetics of life. Sciences and arts. She danced, played instruments and studied till her eyes bled. Bradin was the typical jock. One with a total brain capacity of a gnat. Adryann was the under appreciated and underestimated nerd. She everything for its brilliance either physics or sound.

Music was everything. The clang of metal swords or the bashing of shields. Truly archaic and violent battles, but without them strategies that had existed today wouldn't have been concocted. She loved the weight, the close combat and true chivalry that one had to exude when seeing someone eye to eye on the battlefield. It was a bit of romanticism for her.

She loved playing the piano. Her one escape from the mundane life she led to the whimsical imaginings that made her different from everyone else.

* * *

"You were a nerd?" Garrus asked. He chuckled at Adryann's description of herself.

Swords and shields, music, flights of fancy, all things considered didn't add up to the Shepard he saw sitting beside him. Chivalry, the awkward code of conduct that knights held as law used on the field of combat. Humans were awkward in their descriptions of themselves. Though he knew little if anything really of humans to make a judgement.

"I was." Adryann grumbled. She looked at the turian and frowned. There wasn't anything wrong with being a nerd or geek, as far as she saw it. It was a badge of honor that she wore proudly when she was alone.

* * *

Bradin had left one summer and didn't come back for four years. Traveling with his father for work. Going from one planet to the next. Adryann was pleased with not having the distraction during his absence. She had grown and matured into a beautiful young woman. Times had change and personalities weren't what they were before.

Time amongst the stars had made Bradin less resistant to others than before. Moving constantly with his father, didn't give him much time to make friends or keep them. So when his father retired back to Mindoir, he was changed. For the better, less of an ass, but still stubborn as a mule.

Adryann had continued to play the piano and bury herself deep into fantasy. Leaving little to chance and more to preplanned ideals. She had made first chair and was the concert soloist for her school. All things she had forced herself to do with great pleasure. No time for friends, what with all the other things she had to do during daily routine.

When Adryann and Bradin finally spoke, they were two different people. Adryann with her otherworldly intellect. Bradin with a cool sense of charm and piercing black eyes. He was popular still, even with the time that had passed. She was the waist length blond with boring hazel eyes. Nothing spectacular, just a blip and a faint one on anyone's radar.

* * *

"You were a blond?" Garrus laughed out loud to himself. "That's not possible."

Adryann wrinkled her nose at him as he laughed. She watched as the sleeping group stirred at the noise escaping Garrus.

"You actually thought this was my natural color?" Adryann asked as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"I couldn't tell." Garrus said. His streaming laugh slowly coming to a stop. He reached up and took a lock of her hair and held it up for better inspection. It all looked red to him and he let the pieces of hair slip through his fingers and sighed.

"Yes a blond and a nerd." Adryann smiled. "But I like my hair like this. It's short and easy to manage. Dying its a bitch, but I like the red."

"Like a fire cracker." Garrus agreed. He watched as she stared at the floor. The red hair falling in her face, obscuring her features. The tint of red against her already pale skin, made her look a ghostly white. She bit her lip hard. The white tips of her teeth shining as she thought to herself.

* * *

_Four months before the end of everything_

"Adryann!" Bradin called out. He was sprinting to her as she worked in the fields. A weekend where the work for harvesting and sowing was to take place.

Adryann looked up from her work and ran her hand across her forehead. She wasn't to have any guests to come and see her not that weekend nor that month for that matter. Grounded for lopping off her hair without permission and angsty teenage attitude had landed her in the land of hard labor by her parents.

"You can't be here." Adryann warned. She looked behind her to see if her parents had taken notice of the ruckus outside.

Bradin made it to her and stopped. Winded and gasping for breath, he bent over to slow his racing heart beat. "I know." He acknowledged between pants. He stood up and looked down at Adryann. His eyes were wide as he tried to compose himself. "It's Brea."

Adryann dropped her hoe and gasped. "What is it? What happened?"

Bradin shook his head. He couldn't answer. Or he wouldn't answer. The words didn't come to him as he tried to mouth out the words in preparation for what he was about to say.

"She's gone." He spat.

"What do you mean gone?" Adryann asked. Her voice shrill in a panic. "I just saw her a couple of days ago."

Adryann looked back to her home and saw her father standing in the door. His arms crossed and a look of ire across his face. She didn't care. This was Brea, her childhood friend. They would understand. They had to understand.

"You know you're not supposed to have anyone here, girl." Her father called to them. "Bradin, leave."

Bradin looked at Adryann's father then at her. He didn't know what to do. He shuttered and started to leave.

"Wait." Adryann murmured. She grabbed Bradin's sleeve. "We have to tell them."

He looked at her, as if all the world's pain was there on top of his shoulders.

"I can't." Bradin whispered. He turned back and went to leave.

"Then I'm coming with." Adryann snapped as she followed Bradin. Her parents would find out eventually. She would take her licks for running out on her punishment, but they didn't need her right then. Bradin and his family needed her more than anything.

* * *

"What happened?" Garrus asked.

Adryann hesitated and lit a cigarette. The start of the downward spiral for her. It should have been a sign of things to come. Every action has an equal reaction. She hadn't seen it coming. How could she? She was still a child, the ripe age of 15. She wasn't an oracle, or a seer. Just a person. A person that started the trip through hell, without a guide and without a map.

"She drowned." Adryann answered. She exhaled through her nose and stopped. Her small hands balled into fists. "There was a pond just east of the settlement and Brea was always the reckless one. She wasn't that good of a swimmer and never turned down a dare when one was given to her."

"Is that why you wouldn't go east?" Garrus questioned as he took her fist in his hand. He squeezed her hand until her fingers sprung open.

"No." Adryann yelped. "It was more tactical to go west." Her matter of fact tone couldn't hide the lie. It was something that had changed her from that day. Brea was her kindred spirit. She had the ability to look past all of Adryann's quirky aspects and saw that she was an adorably imaginative person.

"We don't have to talk about it." Garrus assured her, letting her hand go.

Adryann wiped a tear away and shook her head. "No. It's alright." She stopped and put her cigarette out. "It's just been so long since I thought about it." Adryann explained to him. "She would have been thirty now."

"Miss her?" Garrus asked.

Adryann nodded. "I miss them all."

* * *

_Three months_

Brea's death had changed the dynamics around the settlement. The topsy-turvy ups and downs had brought many of the families closer together. Brea had been the first to die prematurely in almost a generation. New lives were created and new ideals, but others were destroyed.

Bradin's family had been tore apart by the tragedy. His family never recovered from her passing. His parents fought daily, in private and sometimes in public. Bradin had retreated to Adryann when he needed to talk. He couldn't go to his folks for it. He felt left out and unhinged. Adryann saw that he had lost a great piece of himself when Brea left.

It was his job to protect her. Like any older brother should. He was a failure and called one to his face when his father drank. When times were at their worst, he would sneak away to see Adryann. She was there to listen and comfort him when he needed it most. They had both lost a sister in the same person.

It had pained her hard as well. Eventually, his parents split. His mother left the settlement and went back to earth to stay with her family, leaving Bradin in the uncaring arms of his father.

"It just wasn't right." Bradin stated. He looked up at the clouds overhead. The early morning sunrise brightened the dark night with its radiance.

"About your parents?" Adryann asked. She propped herself on her elbows and stared into the golden colors of the dawn.

"The whole thing. Brea. My parents. You." Bradin rambled off.

Adryann glanced at Bradin confused. "Me?"

He looked at her for a moment. The blanket underneath them wrinkled as he moved. He sat up and hugged his legs.

"I didn't mean you in a bad way." Bradin corrected himself.

"Then what isn't right about me?" Adryann questioned.

"Nothing!" Bradin answered in an exacerbated tone He scratched his head and sighed. "Damn it, Adryann. Why do you have to be you?"

"Now that was a negative comment." Adryann snapped. She stood up and swept off the grass that clung to her. She glared at him and started to walk down the hill back towards home.

"I'm sorry Adryann. I didn't mean it like that." Bradin called to her.

"Go home, Bradin." Adryann yelled over her shoulder. She never looked back. Her eyes locked forward. She scowled at the insult and the intended implication. What was wrong with her being her? She liked who she was. She liked living her life the way she saw fit. She lived vicariously for Brea. She took her fencing seriously. Her piano playing was violent and turbulent. Even songs like "Raindrop" were played with a pained and tormented tone.

* * *

Adryann stopped and stood by the window. The sun was on its final leg of the day. The slow shimmer of gold and red bled across the sky. The once calming draft from the breeze had become a steady wind, cold and unrelenting. She peered out still listening to the gunfire. The rhythm of it sporadic and spiteful.

"There's nothing wrong with who you were." Garrus said. He stood up on the other side of the opposite side of the window from her. He looked out at what she was staring at.

"Huh?" Adryann muttered, completely broadsided by his statement.

"There's nothing wrong with who you were." He repeated. "There's nothing wrong with who you are now, either."

Adryann flashed a smile and just as quickly it disappeared. "You might just eat those words."

Garrus shook his head and let out a sigh. "You give yourself too little credit."

"You know nothing of me." Adryann spat.

"I'm trying to." Garrus answered. He frowned and looked back out the window. "So what happened next?" He asked trying to change the subject.

Adryann looked at him for a moment and her hardened look softened. Her eyes grew wide as she stirred up what had happened.

* * *

_Six weeks later_

Spring had come to full fruition in the farmlands that surrounded the settlement. The breezes had swept through the woods and that sweet smell of blossoming flowers hinted across the dusky sky. It was heaven and sometimes completely under appreciated by the younger people.

The annual spring concert had come and Adryann was to perform a solo piece for the settlement. It wasn't her first performance alone, but the music was one of the most difficult for her to play. Emotionally, she didn't know if she could do it. She would try, being that it was Brea's favorite.

She sat at the bench and paused. Her heart raced as the slow chords of music strained out through the air. Each note a penetrating blow to her psyche. Each measure buried her. Her fingers flowed across the keyboard as she played. Tear drops streamed, blurring her vision. The song wasn't one of sorrow to her, but anger. Wagner's music was one of near violent intentions, but more often then not had nothing to do with violence.

When she had finished playing, the ritual applause that followed did little to end the emptiness or enjoyment she had in playing. She looked at the faces of her parents, both filled with pride and joy for their concert pianist. She scanned the faces of all the familiar people and some not so familiar and saw Bradin in the back clapping with the same sadness that she had in those very lonely moments.

She took her leave from the stage and met with her parents. They congratulated her for a job well done and told her that they would be returning home. She nodded to them and spoke in a wavering voice that she was going to spend some time by herself. They obliged her request both expressing their love to her and left.

Adryann started back towards home. Meandering and hesitating, not wanting to return home, not wanting to go anywhere near that direction. She knew she was going to have to head that way eventually. She looked at the night sky and pointed out the familiar constellations of the stars. Each had a story, albeit a tragic one. She could relate it wasn't something too far off from reality that each hero, like Orion, or some other heavenly body's creation didn't stem from tragedy.

She rounded a bend towards home and the familiar little knoll that she called her escape shadowed in the dark drew ever closer. It wasn't an empty spot like usual. A figure stood there staring up at the ink black sky, oblivious to her approach. Adryann walked up the hill slowly and stood beside the man, in silence. She looked toward the blackened lights of her home and stood. The peaceful serenity of Mindoir's farm country had that backwater feel to it, and yet, there was so much more than the farmsteads and settlements. The raw nature that had encapsulated everything.

"You did well." Bradin stated, never taking his eyes off the night.

"Thank you." Adryann said. She glanced at him and back into the abyss.

"Brea would have been proud." Bradin continued. He looked down on Adryann and frowned. His face contorted briefly as if to stifle tears from coming.

"Why are you here, Bradin?" Adryann asked.

"I don't know." Bradin answered. His own confusion overwhelming to both of them. "I just thought I should be here, that's all."

"I didn't do the song justice." Adryann grumbled.

"You did fine. You have no idea." Bradin whispered just barely audible for Adryann.

"So you came to say what a good job I did?" Adryann scoffed.

"No." Bradin murmured.

"Then what?" Adryann asked as she turned to him. She wanted an answer. She wanted to be alone and he was invading all of that.

Bradin grew quiet. He looked at Adryann and let out an exaggerated nervous sigh. "You've been a good friend to me. And God knows that you haven't had the best of times either. No one to really lean on when you needed it. You have been my crutch for months now."

Adryann looked at the ground. Overwhelmed by his words. The utter truth ringing in her ears. Her heart began to race, from emotions or nervousness. It didn't matter. Bradin took her chin in his hand and picked it to look at her.

"I just wanted to thank you." Bradin finally said. He bent down and gently pressed his lips into hers.

A spectacular flood of endorphins filled Adryann. She couldn't believe it. He was kissing her. Her body trembled in an excitement she'd never had before. He'd slowly slip his tongue into her mouth and she grunted at his attempts. He pulled her in close and she let what was to happen happen. She wanted it and the line that was now crossed could not be uncrossed.

* * *

"How was it?" Garrus asked.

Adryann chuckled at the question. "Interesting."

"That's it?" Garrus questioned.

"Yeah, that's about it." Adryann answered with a snicker. "There's not much to a first kiss. There was no way to define if I was good or not or if he was as well."

"So what happened next?" Kaidan asked.

Adryann shot a shocked look over to him and noticed that the others had awoken and were listening to everything. She flushed red with embarrassment.

"Nothing." Adryann stammered.

"Oh come on, Shepard. You were telling Garrus, here, your darkest secrets. Consider it a moment to share." Saren purred.

"You can't be serious." Adryann snapped.

"We are." Nihlus chimed in.

"You don't have to." Garrus spoke into her ear.

Adryann hadn't even realized that he had come so close to her. His breath on her skin, moist and hot. The sweet foreign smell that he had drowned out everything with every word that pressed passed his lips.

"It's alright." Adryann answered. "I'm almost done."

"Are you sure?" Garrus asked. His voice full of concern. He didn't want her to tread where she wasn't comfortable. Even though he'd broken down her barrier and had her open up just a little bit, he knew that one word said out of place or not heard in context and she would shut down and probably very aggressively at that.

Adryann nodded slowly as she tried to gain some control over her self-confidence. It was like clutching at straws for her. Sitting in a room with her comrades, the people she was supposed to be able to confide in, she felt like an emotional pariah. She swallowed hard and exhaled as she pieced together in her mind the last few hours of her life.

* * *

_Two hours till the raid_

Adryann and Bradin kept there relationship a secret from her parents. Her religious upbringing complete with all the bells and whistles would have been the downfall to them. She could have been sent away, a thought that she dreaded. Even though as she sat on her little hill after dark, once her parents were asleep, the conversations held between the couple about the stars and exploration, filled her with the endless possibilities and what ifs. It would have been the perfect escape from the mundane life she was now facing.

"I was thinking about going into the Alliance." Bradin spoke as he stared out into the expanse.

Adryann rolled onto her side and looked at the man.

"Really?" Adryann asked. The statement threw her for a loop. Bradin had many times before stated that he would never leave Mindoir. The experience of the constant moving had tarnished really any chance of him getting out of there, but now, he wanted to be done with the place.

"I'd come back for you." Bradin stated as he met her glance.

"I see." The only words that Adryann could croak out. Sure, he'd come back maybe once or twice and that would be it. She would never see him again. She'd be a memory. A ghost.

"I want to know how you feel about it." Bradin continued. He grew slightly pale in the din; just enough to accentuate his features. The slight twinkle in his eye from the full moon grew dim as he watched as Adryann dashed through a number of emotions.

Adryann stared blankly at him as if he wasn't there. Things were going so good for them. The hidden trysts and middle of the night excursions, made things worthwhile for her. Now he was going to be gone. Sad but true. Even if she was going to say no she didn't want to come off clingy, but for her, Bradin gave her a little stability. She was starting to come out of her shell.

She smiled at him and whispered, "I think that you should do it."

"Really?" Bradin asked, his voice cracking from the instant excitement that he was already overwhelmed with.

Adryann nodded and rolled on to her back. There was so much out there to see, that was true. She wanted to see it, touch it, experience it.

"Maybe I'll enlist too. Who knows." Adryann spoke towards the sky as if she'd included it into the conversation.

"That's great!" Bradin yelped. "I think you could do it."

Adryann chuckled. She felt the outsider already as she actually started to consider leaving her friends and family. All that was familiar to her. Everything that made her safe and secure was right here.

* * *

"So is that why you joined?" Jenkins asked. He sat cross legged, still exhausted, but hanging on every word Adryann spoke.

"No." Adryann answered. "I only thought about it. I was content with staying here."

"You know, the turians have to join their military." Garrus pointed out.

"Well thanks for small favors." Adryann snorted. She leaned her head against the wall and sighed. "When I think back on it though, this is where I'm supposed to be. I enjoy my work immensely."

"You are good at the killing part." Saren agreed. "You have a little fun with it."  
"Coming from you, Captain, that's a major compliment." Nihlus chuckled at his jab at his commanding officer. It didn't happen often, but when it did Saren shrugged it off in a very civilian sort of way. Given the circumstances they had found themselves in, at that moment, some lighthearted prodding was good for everyone.

Adryann looked at Kaidan. He knew where she was going. He knew her all too well. Being on mission after mission and exposed to copious amounts of alcohol on their off time; he knew the whole thing. Adryann might not remember telling him in its entirety, but she told him about the attack briefly. Batarian ale had that effect on her and that's probably why she didn't drink the hard stuff anymore.

"How did you find out the batarians had come?" Jenkins asked, intrigued by Shepard's heart wrenching story.

Adryann shook her head and glanced towards Garrus. The turian's eyes lacked any answer in them. He wasn't going to push her in a direction that she feared to tread, but couldn't help but have a certain curiosity about what had happened. Reports were scattered and chaotic with no real first hand account of what had happened. Except for hers.

She'd repeated herself so many times for the Alliance, the politicians, the media. All had terrorized her, not giving her a time to grieve over everything that she had lost.

_Huh, grieving. _Had she really done it? Had she really let herself go through the roller coaster ride of emotions. No. She couldn't do that. What would it have possibly done for her in those moments, hours, days and years that were to follow her like a blackened shadow? Her personal seething thoughts that made her rambunctiously violent on the outside and broken alone and full of hatred. Self-hatred, hatred for batarians, hatred for time and its seemingly endless continuity.

"Gunfire and screams." Adryann whispered. "There wasn't much time to react."

"What happened to Bradin?" Kaidan asked. The answer he knew already, but was forcing a conclusion when the tell-tale signs of her distress shined through. Hidden to most, but all to obvious for him. Her fatal flaw as she saw it.

Her past the only thing she couldn't run from. The only thing that always seemed to manifest itself when completely unnecessary. She had brought it on herself by opening her damn mouth.

"Killed." Adryann muttered as she bit her lip. "He ran into the settlement to find his father. He didn't get far. They caught him. He resisted. They executed him."

All the emotion drained from her words as she bluntly and almost nonchalantly spat each word out.

She didn't feel better. She was drained, emotionally, psychologically, physically. The stims she'd injected into herself had begun their abrupt withdrawal from her system. Her hands shook slightly, but enough to be noticed by those around her.

"Commander, maybe you should get some rest." Kaidan spoke, concerned by the tattered remains of the woman that he had followed so blindly and without hesitation.

Adryann shot him a look and began digging through her pack. She'd sleep when the mission was over. Once they were away from this place. Once the ghosts were gone and the faint echoes of her past could rest finally.

She took the small cylinder out of her pack and made quick use out of it. She stood and stretched, feeling the eyes of her comrades watching her. She peered out the window, and gazed upon the landscape. She lit a cigarette and played out the attack in her head as if it were a verse from a novel she had read.

The way the dimming sunlight hit the trees and the hinting aromatics of pines, flora and fire all floated on that all too familiar breeze. Everything faded away from her as she closed her eyes and sighed. There was no where to run and truly no reason to either. Those events that shaped her mind, strengthened her for combat gave some solace as to why she was here right now, with these people. Nothing ever changes. Seconds tick by and still nothing changes.


	8. Would You Kill for It?

The first stars slightly blinked through the fading orange skies. Clouds had formed to the south and the once steady breeze was now a torrent of gusts that whisked leaves and charred dust into the window. Adryann looked around at her squad. The monotony toyed with them at intervals that were sporadic and unintelligible. Another hour and the dusk would cover them and they could continue and finish the task. How long it would take to complete the task, however, was anyone's guess.

Sitting across the room from the rest of the men, Adryann with her back to the corner, withdrawn and exhausted. The gunfire that had raged most of the day had come to an abrupt end an hour before left the eery silence that was disheartening and filled even the most hardened soldier with fear. They were in a blackout situation. No one could communicate with base camp and they in turn could not communicate with them. Not until the mission was completed. Had the krogan been pushed back or had something befallen her comrades and allies at the post?

"It doesn't seem like anything is going on." Kaidan grumbled. "There have been no patrols coming or going for the past hour."

"It is suspicious." Saren agreed.

"I just don't get it, Commander. Why are we just sitting here?" Jenkins asked, bored and irritated by the fact of just sitting there and doing nothing.

Adryann looked at Jenkins and cocked her head. Her mind drew a blank when it came to her reasoning as to their forward movement being halted for so long.

"Waiting for nighttime." Garrus answered for her.

It wasn't uncommon to do that. The chances of being detected by the untrained eye were greatly decreased in the low light situation. It was like cover being out in the wide open. Adryann nodded at Garrus and sneaked a peek at the shattered window. They wouldn't have to wait too much longer to leave. Her stomach growled, angry by the emptiness that she had refused to fill. It pained her rousing her own anticipation of mission accomplished.

Adryann paced the room along the far wall. Her glances pointed out her peripheral at the men who were staring back at her. Occasionally she'd look up to see if the sunset would be sufficient for them to go, but would then shake her head and continue walking. Her mind was a blurry mess as she pondered about the various possibilities and permutations of what to expect. Strangely the negative thoughts, that most people dreaded to be conceived, gave her peace. Her own preparation for the inevitable and acceptance of what was to most likely happen made Adryann sigh. Her fated sealed much like all the other times she'd been behind enemy lines. Death. Dying. No regrets.

As she pondered the fates of the other lives in the room, the sporadic whispers of the others seeped in. Jenkins, nervous, full of anticipation for his task. Kaidan, would grumble his agreements about his task and what he was supposed to do. Saren, spoke battle strategy for once they had arrived at the krogan vessels. Nihlus, asked odd questions like his mind was wandering in and out of two conversations and making the most of his observational skills about Adryann. Garrus said nothing. He did little to stem the lack of interest in what anyone was doing, except Adryann. Whether the sheer fact of her presence was bothering him or the fact that she had disassociated herself from the group, his expression was blank. He gave nothing way.

Adryann peered once again out the window and the faintest smile appeared on her face. Garrus watched her and noticed the sparkle of light from her eyes slowly grow to dark as the final dimly lit minutes turned to dusky night. She looked at him and her smile grew wider and more obvious. The rest stopped talking and the uneasy silence followed by the crackle of anticipation shocked all of them into action. Adryann was satisfied now. Yet, the eery quiet from outside still upped her nerves.

She grabbed her assault rifle and marched towards the stairs. Her weaponry strapped to her back made her appear very small from behind.

They all slowly and as quietly as they could made their way to the landing and circled around as they decided on what to do. Saren's plans from before were all fine and dandy, but the majority of the people there wanted to know what Shepard wanted to do instead.

"Just go." Adryann muttered. "Once, we get there be prepared for enemy combatants and a whole hell of a lot of them. Kaidan and Saren stay with Jenkins and Nihlus. Garrus and I will maintain watch from outside."

The group listened intently and nodded as they started towards the door. It wasn't much of a plan, but it was a plan. It made sense logically. A group go in and do the work and another stay so that they aren't boxed in; but a pair couldn't take on a horde.

"There's one more thing," Adryann stopped them. "Once you get inside, maintain radio silence. We don't want them getting our position right off the bat. The only thing I want to know is when the objective is complete."

They nodded again and the six of them started walking towards where the krogan had landed. The dusky smoldering purples and crickets' chirping immediately stopping as they would near was slightly racking. No one said a word as they quickly walked; spying all potential movement before them. Even if it was the crazy paranoia they would turn and point their weapons in the direction. No one paused though. They kept moving keeping a rapid pace as they moved along the flat lands.

* * *

Over hill and dale, across dirt paths they marched on. Adryann, leery of discovery, still slowed her pace. She wanted the other four to get a head. Garrus noticed her first and hung back to wait for her.

"What are you doing?" Garrus hissed.

"Nothing." Adryann answered back. She kept walking and watching the other four ahead of her.

"Is something wrong?" Garrus asked. He looked up at the others and back at her as if he was telepathically trying to tell her to hurry up.

"Nope. We're almost there." Adryann stated.

"Then why are you slowing down?" Garrus questioned her.

"We're not alone." Adryann snapped in a harsh whisper.

Garrus stopped abruptly and looked around. He didn't see anything. He didn't hear anything, either.

"What do you mean? Why didn't you say anything? Where are they?" Garrus growled. His annoyance felt by Adryann.

"They're behind us. A little ways away." Adryann grumbled. "I just thought I'd hang back and give them a head start."

"Don't you think they need to know?" Garrus argued with her.

"No." Adryann abruptly said.

"Why the fuck not?" Garrus gaped at her answer. Whatever the hell she was doing or planning on doing he didn't like it. Whether her intentions were pure or not, it was beyond that. They could be entering a futile attempt. An ambush and all that they had accomplished would have been for not.

"They're under enough pressure right now." Adryann answered. If she did care about them, it wasn't the most forthcoming tone to come from her. "Besides they were still a ways away when I did see them."

"Then we should probably hurry." Garrus stated.

"I agree." Adryann nodded.

They continued walking, still in silence, each with glares cast at each other. He doubted her. She doubted everything. She didn't show it. She pressed on gaining speed with each step. She started a slight jog and then stopped. She turned back in the direction they had come from and scanned the blackened horizon. _ Not much longer._

She looked at her omni-tool and looked back again at the group still moving. The next hill would bring them right near where they were supposed to be. It didn't make her feel any better. There was still too many things that could happen.

* * *

Upon finding the ships and shuttles that the krogan were using as a base of operations, the group stopped and looked around the perimeter. Though krogan weren't the brightest creatures in the galaxy they were pretty damn prepared for most incoming attacks. The few times that Adryann had to infiltrate behind enemy lines, they were well prepared and knew they were coming. People died just getting to the destination. There was always a horde. They were always pushing forward. It didn't matter to them if they died, they just kept going.

Adryann could see the krogan meandering around the camp. Guns at the ready. It figured as much that they would be ready for an attack. Adryann turned to Garrus and pointed out places for them to hide. The other group of krogan would be returning soon.

"It doesn't seem like any of them are getting ready to leave." Saren pointed out.

"What are they waiting for?" Kaidan asked. His eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

Garrus looked at Adryann and nodded urging her to tell them that they had enemy combatants on their six and approaching fast. She looked at him, her eyes narrow as if she was trying to damn him where he laid.

"We have another problem guys." Adryann started. They looked over at her unsure of what she was about to say, but from the looks on their faces, they didn't seem to be happy about the surprise announcement. "We've got incoming krogan coming from the south in about five minutes. We probably should find a place to hide till they get back into the camp."

"Why didn't you tell us this before?" Nihlus harshly whispered.

"I didn't think it was a concern." Adryann answered. She looked away from everyone's spiteful glares and started watching the krogan

"Not a concern!" Saren growled. "I think its pretty big fucking concern."

"It's not, really." Adryann snorted. Her argumentative nature and lack of caring was grating on her colleagues.

"Damn it, Shepard. What are you thinking?" Kaidan snarled.

"Relax. This could be quite advantageous." Adryann chuckled.

The insanity in her voice sent shivers down Garrus' spine. She had a plan, she just wasn't willing to share it. It was after all something that did pertain to everyone's lives.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just to take them all out at once?" Adryann asked. Her voice haunting with a sickening glee at the prospect of a bloodbath. No one answered. They stared at her, eyes filled with hate and anger.

"Commander." Jenkins called from the far end, "What about the plan?"

She looked over at Jenkins, her face blank and her eyes piercing his. "They change."

It was cryptic. She was cold and calculating, by nature, but she held all their lives in her hands. Garrus twitched in frustration. He would have loved to stop the evil maniacal gears from turning in her head permanently, but she looked at him and the hard stern look that she once had was replaced by one of anguish. He softened and thought of ripping her limb from limb faded away. He understood why she did what she did, but still, they weren't pawns for her to maneuver how she saw fit.

"We'll just have to deal with this afterward, Commander." Saren growled.

Adryann rolled her eyes and shrugged. "They're coming." She crawled down the hill a little ways and waved them to come with her. Quickly, they made their way at full sprint towards a small wooded area to hide.

Just as she had said, the krogan troops were marching back to base. Adryann watched through the scope of her rifle and noticed that the krogan weren't alone. In the middle of the small heard she could make out about ten humanoid forms; shackled together with their heads down. She looked over her scope to see if she was seeing correctly and looked again through the scope. Sure enough, there were soldiers in the ranks of the krogan.

One soldier hesitated and was shoved in the back by a guard to keep moving. Seeing marines becoming POWs made Adryann's blood run cold. It changed everything. The stakes were higher now. They couldn't just go running in, guns blazing. The amount of casualties due to friendly fire would be unacceptable to her.

"We have a problem." Adryann finally stated.

"What now?" Saren hissed. His patience tested by the human.

"The krogan have taken prisoners." Adryann pointed out.

"That's not possible." Kaidan snapped, in disbelief. He grabbed Adryann's rifle and looked through the scope as the group was almost at the apex of the hill. She didn't deceive him and neither did his eyes. "Fuck."

"Right." Adryann agreed.

"So what do we do now, Commander?" Jenkins whispered.

"To be honest with you, I don't know." Adryann answered. She didn't know what to do. Whatever she had planned before had to be thrown out the window and a new assessment needed to be made. She leaped from the trees and dashed back to the hill before anyone could say anything. She didn't give it a second thought. It was something she had to do. The others would have slowed her down or tried to stop her all together.

She could hear the cursing going on behind her but it drifted away as the distance between her and them grew greater. She fell to her hands and knees and panted. Her chest hurt from the rapid inhalation of cold air and she slowly crawled up to the top of the hill. Just enough so that she could see what was going on down below.

She peered through her rifle scope and looked at the captives and was shocked to see Captain Massani amongst them. He was the last person who would be taken alive, or so she thought. The man was bloody and bruised, but still recognizable. The single bullet wound to his shoulder bleed down the blue military fatigues that he was wearing. From behind her she could hear the rapid foot beats of the other others coming up from behind her.

"Shhh." Was all she muttered as they joined her.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Garrus growled.

"I didn't." Adryann answered, not caring for his tone.

"That's obvious." Nihlus snorted his dissatisfaction at the situation.

"Well, its great that you actually give a shit." Adryann spat.

"I-" Nihlus started.

"Shh!" Adryann interrupted him and looked back through her scope.

The group grew quiet and waited for to say something contrite. It would be a catalyst that would explode in her face if her remarks didn't change. She knew it and she didn't care. The situation was deteriorating rapidly. Distant snarls and growling came from the camp. It was very familiar to Adryann. She might of only heard the noise once, but it was something that you never forgot.

She watched as other hostages were led out from pens. Pens that reminded her of the ones that the batarians used when taking slaves. Her breathing became rapid and it nearly matched her heart. A couple of krogan walked from view and shortly came back with four varren on thick chains. Their teeth gnashing at the prospect of fresh meat.

"Well, I'll be fucked." Adryann muttered under her breath.

Garrus tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention, but she ignored him. She had to watch, had to see what they were going to do. Adryann knew what was happening. It was feeding time and from all reports that had been given during recon, no captives were ever recovered. Now she knew why; they became dinner.

She watched as one krogan released his grip on the leashes and let the varren run. One ran for a young soldier who tried to bolt away. One krogan shot him in the leg and the varren pounced. Even from the distance that they were at, they could hear the deathly screams and bones crunching in the animal's teeth. Adryann looked for the second one and saw it going after a civilian at the back. He was a hefty man, had plenty of meat on him for a satisfying meal.

"Commander?" Jenkins pleaded.

She didn't answer. She tried to push his voice out and just focus on what was going on. As bloody and gory as it was, she had to watch. The second varren had completely eviscerated the man in one bite. He didn't get a chance to scream before the thing had killed him.

"Commander?" Jenkins pleaded again, his voice becoming more desperate.

Adryann still ignored, still focused on the action and horror that was unfolding in front of them. The second krogan hadn't released his pair yet, but the incessant chuckling from the krogan echoed in the small valley and up to them.

When the two eating varren had made quick work of their edibles they lunged at two different people and started the process all over again. Eventually the other krogan released his dogs on the remaining survivors. One of them made a beeline for Massani, the strings of drool, wavering as it sprinted towards him.

* * *

_One year earlier..._

"Those bastards never quit." Massani growled over the radio.

"Seems that way." Adryann answered.

The small chatter over the radio from all sides of the killing grounds was still overshadowed by the growling and snarling of the varren chasing soldiers down and attacking. She couldn't do anything. She was under orders not to interfere and maintain position. As horrible as it was to witness the violence, to hear the ripping of flesh and smell the hot blood hitting oxygen, it was one of those things that had to be witnessed, had to be seen, had to be remembered.

"I never want to be like that. Poor bastards." Massani squawked over the comm.

Adryann didn't respond. She just watched and absorbed everything. Everything beyond where they were hidden would have been picturesque at any given time. A foreboding desert landscape and here she was lying on her stomach looking into the canyon.

"Promise me, Shepard-" Massani muttered. "Promise me if I ever get into that situation you'll kill me."

She didn't know what to think. It wasn't in her to kill a friend. She tried to focus on something else. There wasn't a need to talk about such things right now. Maybe later when they were safe, but not hidden and exposed.

"Captain, there's no need-" Adryann started.

"Damn it! Commander! Promise me!" He bellowed.

Adryann sighed. She wanted to decline, but if she was in the midst of being eaten she'd hoped that someone would kill her too.

"Alright. I promise, sir." Adryann said as she shook her head.

* * *

As her vision cleared, the varren lunged at Massani. He looked from side to side as if to see if she was there. No one knew the promise she had made. The dire consequences that would come from such actions. All she had to do was pull the trigger. Hold her word, resign herself to be an executioner. She held her breath as she lined up her shot and squeezed the trigger. The varren made contact with the falling body as the bullet struck him in the head.

"What the fuck are you doing?" A collective scream erupted from the men.

"Maintaining a promise." Adryann answered. She grabbed a grenade and lobbed it into the crowd of people. She knew they wouldn't survive the concussive blast or the shrapnel shot from it, but it was better than being eaten alive.

The krogan started towards them in waves. She had stirred up the ants nest and they were going to swarm them. The group fired and started to run back down the hill ahead of them. A strategic retreat even if it was to stave off death for a few minutes more.

"Split up, I'll keep them occupied!" Adryann yelled at full sprint.

No one said anyone. Garrus wasn't going to leave her side. It was a suicide run. She didn't have a chance fighting them all by herself. The other four split off and ran to the east and west, never looking back. Garrus caught up to her and looked stared at her, fully knowing that he was running with his death in her hands.

She could hear them. Closing in on them, gaining ground. Their pounding footsteps shook the ground as she ran.

"Where do you plan on going?" Garrus yelled.

"Back to the house." Adryann answered back as her pace began to slow. Winded and muscles throbbing, the stims were again running out as she had consumed the last bit of her energy artificial and natural. She had to keep going had to keep pushing herself there. It wasn't that far. She could see the far off dot when she reached the last hill.


	9. Where Did You Go?

The running and swearing escaping Adryann's mouth between gasps floated through the air in a string of incoherent thoughts. Her feet burned and her eyes were dry from running head long into the winds. She could hear Garrus behind her. His heavy boots thudding the ground almost like the krogans' own pace had finally caught up to her.

She ran to the top of the next hill and gazed upon the starting point of their last destination. The ramshackle house still baring the scars that it had. The darkness now leaving little but a shadowed frame with windows that formed the blackest eyes that stared back at her. She slowed and turned to Garrus, who was winded and constantly looking over his shoulder.

"Come on." Adryann urged on as she started down the hill. The slick grass giving little friction under her boots. She skid down, nearly falling as she reached the level grounds below. It was a quarter of a klick away or half at most.

"Shepard." Garrus muttered through choking breath.

She didn't turn to him she kept running. The krogan were nearing their location and if they didn't get some place fast then the end would be a blood bath, and she didn't want to end up the meal for some hungry varren. The barking and snarling of the forsaken creatures were closer than the enemy gaining ground on them.

"We're almost there." She told herself as the shadow overtook her.

She reached the door and Garrus quickly followed. She slammed the door and bunkered down under the window. Krogan forces slowed to a halt, but she could hear them outside. Garrus went to look out the window to get a look at the situation. Adryann shook her head violently. She crawled on her hands and knees towards the stairs. If they were going to do any investigating, they were going to do it from the high ground.

She readied a proximity mine and motioned Garrus to follow her. He stared at her, a look of disgust and frustration on his face. She motioned harder and she silently plead with him to hurry up. He sighed and shook his head. His thoughts were blatantly obvious, even though he hadn't uttered a word to her.

He started up the stairs and Adryann laid the mine at the base of the stairs and hurried up the stairs after Garrus.

When she reached the top, she felt a heavy hand grab her and slam her into the wall. A thick forearm pinned across her chest. She looked at the turian with narrow, angry eyes and scowled.

"Do you have any idea what the fuck you've done?" Garrus growled harshly.

"I'm doing my job. What the hell do you think I'm doing?" Adryann snorted as she dug her nails into his arm. The armor was not forgiving to her soft tips.

"You've compromised the mission and for what? Vindication?" Garrus snarled. His hot breath on her skin and ice cold blue eyes staring down at her.

"I didn't compromise the mission. I was doing what I was told." Adryann winced as Garrus applied more pressure to her. "We don't have time to fight, Garrus. Please put me down."

Garrus stared at her. His expressionless face looking her over. His mandibles quivered in ire of the red head's actions.

"This is unforgivable." Garrus grumbled as he dropped her to the floor. Adryann slumped to the floor choking for breath and growling at the turian. Her breastbone throbbing under the strain and sudden relaxation.

"Calm down Garrus. It's not that bad." She gasped as she sat back on her heels. Her eyes watered through the pain. The possibility that he'd broken her collarbone in his assault was very real and pronounced when she rotated her shoulder.

"Bad? It's fucking worse than that." Garrus scoffed as he turned from her. He walked across the room and squatted in the corner facing her.

The electrifying silence that was between them made matters worse. Adryann's blood began to boil so much so that she stood up and kicked the turian's legs out from under him. He looked at her. Shock and disbelief mixed with aggravation formed on his twisted visage. He sprung to his feet and lunged at her. She turned to move but was gripped around the waist and dragged to the floor with him. His heavy body and armor landing on top of her made her groan.

"Fucking get off! What are you doing?" She yelped.

Garrus slammed his hand over her mouth and glared at her. "This is bullshit, Shepard." He looked her over with what light did slide its residue on her. Her eyes wide as she stared back at him. He could smell the fear on her. It reeked the air with its hormonal rank.

"Fuck you, Vakarian. You have no fucking idea what the hell is going on. You never gave a shit. You didn't have to run back here with me. I would have been fine on my own." Adryann's muffled voice rang through the spaces of his digits.

"I did, Shepard." Garrus' voice dropped. He closed his eyes and inhaled her. Letting it slink over his senses like a gift not ready to be opened.

Adryann shook her head violently. Her breathing rapid and uneven. She reached up and grabbed his hand and struggled to pull it away. He looked at her and released his grip on her.

"You didn't, Garrus." Adryann tried to say. "I would have been fine."

"No, Shepard." Garrus corrected. "You wouldn't have been. You can't fight a whole krogan horde by yourself."

He pushed off of her and sat down beside her. He looked out the window and sighed. Adryann sat up and with all the bullshit and anger that was being shared between the two of them, she placed her hand on his shoulder. He looked at her and down at the floor.

"We'll be fine." She assured him. Even though her own doubt and calculations of the situations were highly against their favor. "The other four will come to rescue us."

Garrus snorted his disapproval and frowned. "I don't know. They might just wait for the krogan to kill us before anything."

* * *

"Where do you think they went?" Nihlus asked as he peered out from behind a tree. The long distance run for cover left him winded and exhausted. His rifle held tightly against his chest as he anticipated an attack coming.

"I don't know." Kaidan muttered. He leaned back against the tree. He closed his eyes and let the throbbing of his usual migraine take hold. It wasn't the most opportune time to get one, but it was something he dealt with and dealt with well. "The last I saw, they were running south."

Nihlus looked around again and squatted down, and cooled what adrenaline down to a slow trickle. He shook his head and prodded the fine pine needles with his finger before letting out a long sigh. "What was she thinking?"

Kaidan sat down and dislodged his helmet and placed it next to him. He didn't know how to answer. Shepard, for all intents and purposes never took out a hostage always stood by and fought to save them with minimal casualties. It was the Shepard he cared about. Her insistence on being the last person out and first one in. Every life was precious and every one of them that was saved was a small victory. It's what made the job worthwhile, especially in the difficult times they were living in.

"I don't understand it myself. She's never acted like that before." Kaidan finally answered. He groaned and rubbed his eyes as if trying to keep them from popping out.

Nihlus looked over at him, observing his partner's moans of discomfort. "Injured?"

Kaidan shook his head slowly and finally opened his eyes. The nausea from the pain was unbearable and the saliva started to flow in his mouth as if he'd poured a glass of water into it. "Migraine."

They sat in silence for who knows how long. Time itself seemed to creep by at an unbelievably slow rate. The slow rustling of the breeze in the eaves was a small respite compared to the growling and rumbling that had followed them for a short distance and then continued on towards Adryann and Garrus' location.

"You think they're still alive?" Nihlus grumbled. All the questions in the world couldn't stem the subtle fear that they had finally lost a commanding officer to some fucked up hero attempt. Or was it a hero attempt? It could have been something to finally get some action going. Adryann was never one to just sit by and let everything come to her. Stealth and recon was not something she enjoyed. She was a front line fighter and she reveled in the action and excitement that came from it.

"If I know Adryann, she's fine." Kaidan answered as he stood up and dusted the fine grit off of his armor. "She knows what she's doing."

"I'm more worried about Saren. He's probably having a coronary dealing with this." Nihlus chuckled lightly. "Poor Jenkins."

"Yeah, he didn't seem too happy about that." Kaidan agreed. He bent over and picked up his helmet and put it back on. The pressure of squeezing back on made his head feel worse and he winced as the throbbing increased. "We should probably go find them to make sure everything is alright."

Nihlus stood and looked around again. He took one step, then another and the silence that encapsulated the pair was painstakingly eery. No growling or gunfire. No heavy footed foes that ran at you undaunted by the fact you are firing directly at them. He looked back at Kaidan who was waiting patiently from just behind him. "You have any idea where they might be at as well."

Kaidan pointed straight ahead and started walking. The threat was over, from what he could gauge. There hadn't been anyone walking by to slow them and no one had made an attempt to find them either, so all was well. "They broke off for the tree line on the opposite side. It shouldn't be too hard to find them."

"Right, I'll just keep my ear out for yelling." Nihlus snorted harshly.

* * *

"What the fuck was she thinking?" Saren growled to himself as he stormed around in a small circuit. Jenkins watched in silence. He feared what the turian would do to him if he opened his mouth. "Stupid useless human." He continued to snarl as he looked from his feet to the corporal propped up against a tree. Jenkins's own silence was irritating him and the way he looked blankly drove the mad turian's blood pressure into the red zone. "Damn it! Say something!" He belted at the man. "You've worked with her! What was she doing compromising the whole mission?"

"I don't know, sir." Jenkins finally stammered.

Saren's eyes grew cold as he approached Jenkins as if to attack him. "You don't know." He scoffed. He turned away from the man and shook his head. A violent evil chuckle escaped him that terrified Jenkins. It was an unnatural sound that sent chills up his spine. Saren looked back at him and glared.

"If you don't mind my asking," Jenkins started, "Do you have any idea where they might have gone?" He looked around the large tree out into the direction they had come from.

"No and why the fuck should I care." Saren spat. He grabbed his assault rifle and started out into the clearing.

"Wait. What are you doing?" Jenkins yelped. He knew that it was something Shepard would do, and he never questioned it, but this was something new to him and he didn't like the potential of where it was going.

"We have a job to do." Saren answered as he continued walking.

"What about the commander and Kaidan and Nihlus?" Jenkins questioned. His own voice becoming more defiant with every question that he asked. "We need to find them." Jenkins argued as he followed Saren out of the woods. Small twigs snapped under foot as he met up with him. Saren stopped and looked at Jenkins for a moment.

Saren's response to the insubordination: a butt strike to the gut. Jenkins gasped and fell to his knees holding his stomach as he tried to maintain composure. The pain went all over him. His breathing became harsh and his eyes became wet ever so slightly. Saren stood over him, his eyes black in the darkness. Jenkins looked up at him. Pained and shocked by the assault. "Your damn commander is an idiot who should have known her place a long time ago. If it was her in your place, the parting shot that you have just received would have been much worse." Saren spat on the ground and continued. "You damn humans have no sense of duty or honor. Personal feelings are to be kept aside when in the field you of all people should know that. You are supposed to be a marine. She is your commanding officer; one which you are too personal with. If she dies because of her own fucked up stupidity, then it's her own damn fault. Maybe that'll teach your Alliance to actually train their officer's better."

Jenkins stood up after collecting himself. He stared the turian down. His contempt showing through at the hateful words that Saren was spilling.

"Your own soldier is with her. You don't care about that?" Jenkins shot back. "You are going to let him die because you are a selfish prick?"

"You need to be put in your place as your dear commander will be once we get back on a turian ship. I will for damn sure make sure it happens." Saren hissed as he took a step back to size the human up.

"Bullshit." Jenkins spat. "We need to get to her."

"No." Saren growled as another butt stroke hit Jenkins in the side.

Again he fell to the ground but briefly. A sense of calm entered him as he stood again. "We are going back to the krogan outpost to do our job. If you have any more complaints or defy me again I will kill you and make it look like you were lost to the krogans. Do you understand me?"

Jenkins silently nodded and Saren continued walking. He never looked back but quickened his pace and Jenkins obliged the speed openly.

* * *

Outside the house, Adryann could hear the krogan mulling around the perimeter. She didn't bother peeking over the sill to gather her bearings of their various locations. Instead she looked at Garrus and shook her head. They hadn't said anything to each other since their violent, but brief altercation earlier. Adryann lit a cigarette and smirked.

"You know, this isn't how I planned to die." Garrus mumbled when he noticed her expression.

"You think we're going to die?" Adryann scoffed. "You have such little faith in what I have planned."

"Face it, Shepard. You ain't got shit cooked up in that small little human brain of yours." Garrus snapped.

"You never know. Maybe I had this planned the whole time." Adryann dryly answered as she took another drag off of her cigarette.

Garrus stared at her and sighed. He pictured what he would do to her if the situation was more in their favor. Beating her to within an inch of her life came to mind relatively quickly. The way he had planted his heavy frame on top of her to keep her from struggling as he strangled her. Her moans and attempted gasps becoming thready and then eventually coming to a halt all together were the most pleasurable to him.

Yet for some reason when he thought about it he remembered when he did have her pinned down under him, feeling her squirm under him and an overwhelming sense of elation filled him. He liked it. Watching her fight him, feeling her writhing under him; her thighs brushing up against his. It was damn near erotic the images that flashed in front of him.

"What the hell are you smiling at?" Adryan snapped.

Garrus looked at her shocked that he'd been staring at her with a long that he really didn't require but desperately wanted to test out.

"Nothing." He muttered.

"You sure? You seem distant."

Garrus snorted his disagreement. "I wouldn't call it distant. Just thinking."

"About?" Adryann questioned.

"What I'm going to do once we get out of here." He paused and cleared his throat. "If we get out of here."

"Well that's more positive than what whiny bullshit I've heard from you over the past couple of hours." Adryann jabbed.

Adryann sighed and stood up. She slowly and as deftly as she could, she peeked out the window. She could see a warlord muttering things to the other krogan.

"Are you sure they are still there?" He growled.

"We really don't know." Another answered to his left.

"Well go find them." He snarled as part of the troops started walking back towards the human base.

"What about the survivors?"

"Just kill them." He ordered.

Adryann made a quick head count and sat back down.

"How many?" Garrus asked without moving.

"Twelve from what I can see." She answered. "The majority are going to the base."

"Huh. So what should we do now?" Garrus asked for the umpteenth time.

Adryann looked at her omni-tool and shook her head. "If the other's survived they'll continue the mission."

"So we're just supposed to sit here and die?" Garrus yelped.

"Shhh!" Adryann harshly hissed. "We're not going to die."

* * *

Kaidan and Nihlus continued walking. Due diligence taking place with every step they made, watching for any movement. It was so quiet, not even the crickets chirped and the breeze that had encapsulated them in the thicket was now dead as well. The grass was the only thing making a sound as it swished softly under their footsteps.

"So how do you think Jenkins is faring?" Kaidan asked Nihlus.

The turian sighed and that was a sure sign for Kaidan that it wasn't going to be anything good.

"It's kind of hard to explain how Saren acts about these things. He takes blatant disregard of regulations and orders very seriously."

"But would he take it out on Jenkins?" Kaidan pressed as he stopped. Standing out in the middle of the open and waiting to see movement around them at any second, Kaidan leered and strained to see if he could hear or see the other two.

"He would if it came to it." Nihlus answered. "There are things that most don't know about Saren that most people would never consider."

"Such as?" Kaidan asked as he continued to walk.

"Well, firstly he hates humans and this little event will be the icing on the cake for him. It'll just prove how inferior he thinks that your species is." Nihlus stated.

"Then he'll take out his frustration out on Jenkins to prove a point?" Kaidan gasped.

"Yup." Nihlus chimed. "I know it sounds horrible, but as long as Jenkins stays in line everything should be fine."

"Well, I've known Richard for a long time and he's always been a more passive aggressive person when it comes to dealing with his superiors." Kaidan responded.

"Then let's hope that it'll stay that way." Nihlus growled, knowing all too well that it wouldn't matter what Jenkins did or didn't do. If Saren wanted blood, he was going to damn well get it. "Where do you think we should head?"

"If they survived then they would be heading to the krogan camp to complete their mission." Kaidan answered as he started to change direction towards the base.

"That's a very likely probability given the fact that the mission always comes first in Saren's eyes." Nihlus agreed and followed suit. "Do you think that Shepard and Garrus are still alive?"

"I don't see why not." Kaidan muttered.

"How can you be so sure?" Nihlus prodded.

"I can't be. I'm just hoping I'm right." Kaidan stated.

The two walked in silence again, keeping an eye out for their comrades and silently praying that Shepard and Garrus would be alive by the time the mission was complete.

"Hey." Nihlus nudged Kaidan and pointed towards two distant bodies running towards them.

"Is it krogan?" Kaidan asked.

"No." Nihlus shook his head. "It's Saren."

"Do you see Jenkins with him?" Kaidan's question was hurried with anticipation.

"He's alive but a ways away from Saren." Nihlus answered.

Kaidan breathed a sigh of relief and both soldiers started towards the pair.

When they met in the middle both men saluted Saren and Jenkins stood behind him wincing slightly and gasping for breath. Kaidan eyed him suspiciously and shot a questioning look at Saren who said nothing.

"Any news from Shepard or Vakarian?" Saren hissed.

"No sir. Shepard told us to maintain radio silence." Nihlus answered looking over at Jenkins and then at Kaidan and the glaring that was emanating from him was all too obvious.

"Then let's get this mission over with and go back and count our casualties when we are done." Saren ordered. He turned to leave when Kaidan spoke out.

"What do you mean 'casualties'? You don't think they are going to survive till we get done?" Kaidan belted.

"I don't." Saren answered as he continued walking.

"Why in the-" Kaidan started but was stopped by Nihlus shaking his head violently. Kaidan grew quiet and stood with Jenkins. He assessed him to the best of his ability, but Jenkins shook his head and kept walking.

Saren and Nihlus took up the lead and Jenkins and Kaidan followed in the rear giving a little bit of distance between the turians and themselves.

"What did he do, Richard?" Kaidan asked.

"It's nothing." Jenkins remarked as he sighed.

"Bullshit." Kaidan snapped glaring at the back of the turians' heads.

"Don't worry about it, sir. I'll be fine." Jenkins said in a less than assuring voice. There was a long pause and he started again. "Do you think the commander is alive?"

"Nervous, huh?" Kaidan asked softly.

"No. Just wanted to know." Jenkins sighed and picked up his pace to catch up with the turians.

Kaidan followed suit but stared questioningly at Jenkins, unsure about his answer about the misadventure the missing pair were having.


	10. Nothing Seems to Change

Adryann slipped in and out of consciousness. She looked at her hands. Her head hanging forward as she watched as her hands trembled. Of all the times to need the boost in energy, she couldn't help but ponder whether it was any use to fight the inevitability. Only a couple hours had passed and Garrus had planted himself next to her.

"Why don't you try to get some rest?" Garrus asked. He looked at her cautiously and sighed. He'd been watching her for over an hour and watched as her body slowly stalled from the lack of chems in her system.

"I'm alright." Adryann mumbled incoherently. She shook her head and yawned. "I can do it."

"No, Shepard. Sleep. We'll catch up to the rest of them in a little bit." Garrus whispers. He looks over at krogan bound in the corner. He glares at him and looks back at the small woman sitting beside him. She'd been nursing her arm and moaning just seconds before and now there was nothing.

He brushed her hair out of her face and saw that she had fallen asleep leaned up against him. He smiled softly. Her soft breathing could be heard just barely over the call of the warlord down below.

* * *

_One hour earlier_

"We can't just sit here and wait for them to come in." Garrus harsh whispers were almost inaudible over the gunfire.

"Have you ever heard of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?" Adryann asked with a smile. She stood up and started firing again before Garrus could answer him. She laid waste to a couple of krogan before the return volley started. She sat down hard and looked over at him.

"No." Garrus answered, waiting for the gunfire to die down before he stood for his turn.

"It's a great story. Butch Cassidy and Sundance in the end face down a whole army." Adryann quickly explained.

"What's your point? How did it end?" Garrus asked as he stood up.

"Well-" Adryann started but paused to let Garrus fire his weapon.

"How did it end, Adryann?" Garrus's voice became more frantic. He hid to the side of the window as a hail of bullets hit the ceiling above them.

Adryann frowned and sighed. "Not well."

Garrus's jaw dropped open. "What the fuck was the point of telling me that story, then?" He looked over at Adryann and it was written all over her face. She was scared. She didn't know how or if they were going to survive. He dropped down to her and met her eye. "It'll be alright."

"I'm sorry." She mouthed. She turned away from him and heard the blast from the proximity mine. "Damn it. We have incoming krogan." She jumped up and saw a krogan enter the doorway. Garrus stood and went after the krogan, but Adryann beat him to it. She jumped on top of him and the pair fell down the stairs. The sound of bone snapping rang in her ears and the instant violent pain of her arm made her scream.

Garrus was on the two of them in seconds. He pulled at Adryann and she shoved him off.

"Adryann?" Garrus muttered.

"Don't!" Adryann cried out. She grabbed her knife and put it to the krogan's plate. The krogan stared at her. He struggled and she drove the blade just under it and the beast froze in a heartbeat. "Get it up!" She ordered to Garrus.

He stood there dismayed by the scene. Here was Shepard straddling the krogan with a knife its head. He swiftly moved to the krogan and grabbed it by the arm.

"Are we supposed to take prisoners?" Garrus asked reaching around for something to bind the krogan with.

"I don't know and I really don't care." Adryann muttered as she walked back up the stairs. She watched as the two walked up behind her. She drew her gun and shot the krogan in the leg once it made it into the room.

"Damn it, Adryann!" Garrus yelped.

"I don't want him moving." Adryann stated.

"We can regenerate you stupid human." The krogan snorted. He looked over at Garrus and snarled at him.

"Well isn't that a fucking shame?" Adryann remarked. She looked at Garrus too and shot him again. The krogan groaned and fell to his knees. She walked up to him and stared at him. "Tie this piece of shit up. I have plans for him."

* * *

"Adryann?" Garrus cooed as he tried to shake Adryann awake.

Adryann slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him. Her exhaustion marked by the circles around her eyes. She blinked at him and smiled then groaned at the action. "How long was I out?"

"Not long. Maybe a few minutes." Garrus answered. He looked out the window briefly and then sat back down. "The krogan want us to come out."

Adryann looked at him for a long while. It took a minute for what Garrus had said to sink in. She looked over at the krogan, who was watching them and she smiled again. She stood and walked over to their captive and pulled him up with her good arm.

"They want us to come out?" Adryann asked. "Then we'll go out." She shoved the krogan towards the door and followed. She grabbed a cigarette and lit in on the way down. Garrus ran to the door and stopped.

"Are we giving up?" Garrus yelled. "That's your plan?"

"Yup." Adryann responded without looking up at him.

She stood at the bottom of the stairs and took a drag off of her cigarette. She reached into her pack and stood behind the krogan. Garrus couldn't see what she was doing, but she looked up at him and took her guns off and again shoved the krogan to the entrance of the domicile. He followed reluctantly and stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

"Drop you weapons and come outside." The warlord called out. Adryann heard slides locking into place and she smiled. She looked over at Garrus and winked at him.

"You heard the man. Drop your weapons." She orders. "We don't want to keep them waiting."

Garrus took a step back and shook his head. "You can't be serious."

"I am." Adryann muttered before disarming herself.

Garrus watched her piece by piece dropping her arms to the floor. She raised her hands above her head. Little fists pointed towards the sky. Garrus sighed and shook his head. Slowly he dropped his rifles and followed behind Adryann.

"Shouldn't I be first?" Garrus asked. "You are already injured."

"It's alright." Adryann whispered harshly. She winced silently from the pain. "I prefer it this way." She shoved the krogan ahead of her to walk towards the door. He grunted disapprovingly and resisted. He looked down at her and growled. "Fucking go!"

The krogan turned back and started walking. His feet scraped the ground loudly and made it to the threshold. Adryann peeked around him to see what they were facing. The odds weren't good. Each krogan was armed to the teeth and ready to fire. Adryann looked back at Garrus and shrugged.

"We're coming out." Adryann yelled.

Garrus hesitated and scowled. "Shepard?"

"Shhh." Adryann whispered softly. She started out the door with her head held high. Her heart raced as the multiple shotgun barrels pointed at her.

"Where's the other one?" The warlord asked as he stomped up to her. He looked her over once and then shoved her aside. "There was another one. Where is he?" He barked.

"He's coming." Adryann spat. She looked over at the krogan and saw the leash of a varren. Drooling and snarling and ready for its meal. She looked back at the door and strained to see if she could see Garrus, but the krogan was blocking her view.

"Don't lie to me!" The krogan bellowed. He nods to one of his soldiers and he proceeded to walk into the house. Adryann watched as a smaller krogan began to untie the hostage. She sighed.

"Where is he?" Adryann muttered to herself. Her eyes darted from window to window looking for the slight glimmer of hardware. After several minutes the warlord returned and he was fuming. He stormed up to Adryann and slammed her across the face with his heavy hand. A krogan picked her up and held her still. Adryann spit blood from her mouth and snorted with dissatisfaction. "Didn't find him?"

The warlord balled his hand into a fist and slammed the side of her face again. Adryann again fell to the side with a thud and spit more blood from her mouth. The dribbled strings of saliva mixed with blood fell from her lips.

"Where is he?" The warlord growled. He stared down at her waiting for her answer. The krogan that was holding her went to pick her up again. The warlord stopped him with a glare. "You know where he is."

"I really don't." Adryann answered. Her voice was strong even through the pain.

"He betrayed you?" The krogan asked. "Seems typical of these fucking turians. Cowardly bastards would rather send someone less than themselves to face what they have coming to them directly." He turned away from her and looked at the house for a moment and sighed. "You at least were honorable enough to face your fate."

Adryann chuckled and nodded her head. "I would agree with you. They are always looking for a reason to stab a human in the back and it seems that the fucker got me in the end." Adryann started to stand and was shoved back to the ground by the krogan standing over her. He pressed the barrel of his shotgun to her head and shook his head. She shot him a look and started to stand again, ignoring the threat that was placed on her life. "He got me into this bullshit predicament and I'm the one that's going to get fucked by it."

The krogan looked back at her and nodded. "What do you propose?" He asked as he slowly trounced his way back to her. "You seem to have an idea in mind." He sniffed her and took a step back sizing her up to see what a threat she was.

"I do." Adryann agreed. She took a step towards the towering behemoth and looked up at the house. "I lived here. I know where all the hiding places are to it." Adryann explained. She sighed in exasperation.

"You lived here?" The krogan snorted. "That's really advantageous for us." The krogan grew quiet and started pondering about the implications. "Why are you willing to kill him? He's an ally."

Adryann bit her lip and shook her head. "Not by choice. I didn't want to work with these assholes. It's plain to see that the supposed peace treaty that we had doesn't mean shit to them." She looked over the faces of the other krogan and started walking towards them. "We kicked their asses after First Contact and this is a personal vendetta that they have. No wonder they want to see everything that the Alliance has built destroyed."

"So what do you suggest?" The krogan snapped.

Adryann grabbed the shotgun of one of the krogan and slung it over her shoulder. "That turian piece of shit has my weapons. I'll go in and get him." Adryann smiled with angry delight. "You'll have his head on a silver platter."

"And after that what of you?" The krogan asked.

Adryann grew quiet and shuttered at the thought. "I'm a POW now. Do with me what you will."

The old krogan warlord took a step to the side and waved her to him. "You have five minutes."

"That's all I need." Adryann uttered with a smirk.

* * *

Saren and Nihlus peered over the crest of the hill and looked down at the now abandoned camp. Nihlus turned towards Kaidan and Jenkins and beckoned them to join them. They had said very little to each other since they started walking. Jenkins was distant and cold towards Kaidan with every question that he'd asked. His cryptic answers were unlike the Jenkins that Kaidan knew.

The crawled up the hill and looked down for themselves. The only light came from the dim fires that were left unattended when their masters had left to chase after the invaders. Kaidan sighed at the carnage that had taken place. Dead bodies lay along the ground. Heaps of flesh that were charred by shrapnel fire from the grenade that Adryann had thrown earlier; were motionless from their position.

"What were you doing, Shepard?" Kaidan asked as he shook his head trying to avoid the destruction that she had laid in their wake.

"Do you see anyone, Nihlus?" Saren questioned the turian beside him. He looked at Jenkins with a smile and looked back at the bodies lying in the small valley.

"No. I'm pretty sure it's safe." Nihlus responded. He continued looking around and finally stood up.

Saren joined him and started walking. "Then we have a job to do let's get this over with." He looked at Jenkins and Kaidan and sneered. "We'll do an initial sweep for hostiles." He looked at his omni-tool and frowned. "We'll meet in the center of the compound in twenty minutes."

"Roger that." Kaidan answered as he rose to his feet. He stood for a moment and looked down at Jenkins. He looked lost in thought with the way his eyes glanced from side to side and then he finally looked up at Kaidan and stared blankly. "You alright?" Kaidan asked as he held out his hand to pull Jenkins up.

"I'm fine." Jenkins grumbled. He helped himself up and started walking towards the vessels. "Let's just get this over with." He spat without looking over his shoulder. Kaidan frowned and shrugged his shoulders.

* * *

Adryann looked around the front entryway of the building. Garrus was gone and he left no mark of where he had taken off to. She examined the living area and found that her guns had been taken and Adryann's blood instantly boiled.

"Garrus?" She called in a sing-song voice. "Where are you, you fucking turian bastard?" She rounded a corner and looked up the stairs. The door was wide open and barely hanging on its hinges. She smiled and took a soft step up onto the first step. She leered at the krogan warlord watching her from just outside the door. He nodded at her to continue and she took another step up and then another.

When she reached the landing to the upper floor, she leaned against the wall and listened to see if there was any movement. Her breathing slowed and she slowly took a step into the doorway. She looked around from corner to corner taking note of the blood on the floor. She grinned and went further into the room. Off to the side of her she heard soft, raspy breathing that staggered and was trying to be withheld. She stuck her head from cover and saw something that she wasn't expecting.

"Garrus?" She asked softly. "You hurt?"

"What the fuck do you care?" Garrus snapped.

Adryann turned the corner and drew down on him. She deftly made her way up to his feet and stopped. She watched his motions to see if he was going to move. He stared at her. His blue eyes were piercing but unrelenting.

"You stabbed me in the back, Garrus? What did you expect?" Adryann stated. She kicked his boot and ordered him to stand. Garrus mumbled to himself and stood. She followed him with the shotgun till he came to a stop. "Get on your knees." She yelled. Garrus glared at her and stood still. Adryann overcome with rage kicked the back of his knee and he fell to the floor. Slowly blue inky blood streamed down his shoulder and pooled around his hand.

"Adryann-" Garrus started. He shook with ire but did nothing about it. He watched as the blood fell from his arm and sank between his fingers.

"Don't say a word, Vakarian." Adryann scoffed. "You set me up. You damn turians are all the same."

Garrus looked at her. He was hurt by her words and the way she had decided to betray him. "Don't lump me in with them. I'm nothing like them."

"Bullshit." Adryann swung the gun; cracking Garrus in the skull. He fell to the floor and growled at her. "Don't you dare argue with me." She cocked the shotgun and took aim. "You said I was going to get you killed. How does it feel to be right?"

Garrus chuckled softly. His head throbbed and blood started pour down the side of his head. "You have no idea how wrong I wish I'd been." He looked up at her and sighed. "Do what you're going to do Shepard."

"Don't tempt me." Adryann growled. Garrus stared at her. If she was going to murder him in cold blood then he was going to look her in the eye and make her watch the life slip from him. Adryann smiled and lowered her gun. "Stay there." She ordered. She walked toward the window and stopped. She looked down at the warlord with a smile and nodded. She turned back to Garrus and he saw the madness in her eyes. She pointed the shotgun and pulled the trigger.

* * *

The perimeter was clear from what the four soldiers could deduce. Kaidan looked back in the direction that they all had come and shuddered. So much time had passed and his thoughts on a miracle of Shepard and Garrus surviving had waned. He stood there and tried to piece together what his orders from Saren as best as he could. The distraction of thoughts made it impossible to keep it together.

"You two will take the left." Saren ordered. "While Jenkins and I will take the right."

The three men nodded and started in their perspective directions. Kaidan looked over his shoulder and watched as Jenkins disappeared into the darkness of the ship.

"Hey." Nihlus barked as he shoved Kaidan's shoulder. "Let it be."

"I can't place it." Kaidan answered, scratching his head in confusion.

"I said let it be, Lieutenant." Nihlus ordered. "We're all tired and we want to get out of here." He started walking back toward the hangar door. Kaidan hesitated and followed behind; glancing behind him every few steps.

A sudden explosion goes off in the distance and draws the pair's attention.

"What the hell is that?" Kaidan gasped. "Oh god, Shepard!" He started toward the explosion but Nihlus grabbed his arm.

"Don't." Nihlus snapped. "She's dead, man."

Kaidan shook his head and scowled. "No she's not. It's never that simple with her."

Nihlus spun him around and looked him the eye. "Look around you. She caused this. She killed these people. Not the krogan. She did. Simple? No. Calculated? That's for damn sure." He yelled. "She gone and we have a mission to do."

Kaidan paused and nodded submissively. "You are right." He said with a sigh. They started walking toward the hold again; with only a few more hours of darkness to cover them.

* * *

Adryann pulled the trigger again and laughed. She walked up to Garrus and swept up some of the coagulating blood. She sprinkled it on her face and rubbed it in her hands. She looked at Garrus and smiled. Dropping the shotgun in the puddle she spat on the floor. Her blood still tinted the foam a dark hue of pink. She grabbed her assault rifle and pistol. Her final stop before leaving was to kick Garrus's boot and nod at the job she'd done.

She trudged down the stairs. Her feet thudding the damaged material with each step she took. When she reached the bottom she looked out the door and heard the warlord giving the troops orders. She was to be taken alive once proof of the "turian's death" was presented. They stood around him hanging on his words and nodding at intervals as they waited for her to return.

Adryann smiled faintly and walked to the door. She leaned in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest. She still held the small object from before in her hands. Gripping it tightly she cleared her throat to get their attention. "The job is done. Go get that piece of shit out of my house."

The warlord smiled and crossed his arms. "You sure he's dead?"

Adryann nodded and stared. She looked at her hands for a minute and then back at the krogan who was beaming. "There's one thing, though-" She started.

"What's that?" The once hostage asked from behind the warlord.

"You can't trust a human at all." Adryann answers. "They might slip something on you and you won't even know it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" The warlord growled. He watched Adryann fiddle with something in her hands and took a step towards her. "What do you have?"

"Hm?" Adryann questioned. "Oh, this? It goes with that." She pointed at the krogan from before. The warlord turned the krogan in question and back at Adryann. "You wouldn't be that stupid. You'd be blown up as well."

Adryann sighed and shook her head. "Well that's a risk I'm going to have to take, isn't it?"

The warlord started towards her and she pushed the button on the detonator. Adryann slammed herself into the wall and covered her ears. Within a second the walking bomb exploded. Flying debris of krogan and earth flew into the house from outside. Smoke billowed in along with the smell of burned flesh. Adryann pulled her assault rifle and the misty red cloud of smoke that shadowed any survivors of the blast. She opened fire indiscriminately. Some bullets hit their marks. Others went off into the nothingness. She sat for a moment and jumped up to go outside. It was awe inspiring that she saw.

"It's amazing what you can do with two high explosive grenades." She chortled to herself. Krogan lay around on the ground. Some were motionless others groaned in pain. She quickly dispatched them from their misery and kept walking. "Where's that damn warlord?" She muttered out loud.

She turned her attention to a long blood trail that led around the side of the house. Adryann slowly followed it, fully aware that the krogan could be lying in wait for her. She walked to the corner of the house and snuck a peek around the side.

"There you are!" She smiled. "Thought you were going to get away, did you?"

The krogan turned over and looked at her. "You've done nothing."

"I think I've done an awful lot to be honest." Adryann corrected. "I think I've proven that by now haven't I?"

The krogan groaned and started to stand. "You failed, human."

"I don't think I failed." Adryann stated with a shake of her head. She aimed her rifle at the krogan and began firing. The krogan fell backwards with a thud and grunted. Adryann searched her pockets for her cigarettes and proceeded to casually stroll up to the warlord with a cigarette jutting from between her lips. She blew smoke out and leaned over the krogan. He was barely breathing but alive. He reached out to grab her and she smacked his hand away. "I don't fail. I'm just unorthodox"

The krogan chuckled and coughed. "Call it what you will. There will be more."

Adryann nodded in agreement and sighed. "You're right. But one less is still one less." She aimed her rifle at the krogan's face and squeezed the trigger. Blood and tissue splattered up in a spray of red. After several minutes of releasing round after round into the old krogan's skull, she stopped and looked at her work. She stared into the cavernous hole she had created and frowned. "It's too bad. I thought we could have been friends." She moaned mockingly. She dropped her cigarette into the gaping hole of mush and started back towards the front door.

She stood in silence and took in the destruction that she had created. War wasn't pretty and even though the choice between life and death in these situations are taken out of the hands of ground troops, it still pained her to bear witness to it or take part in it.

"You alright?" Garrus asked from behind her. He staggered up to her and shook his head.

"Yeah." Adryann answered with a sigh. She looked at Garrus and frowned. "Sorry if I came on too strong." She reached up to touch Garrus's wounded shoulder and he pulled away from her.

"Adryann-" Garrus started. "You did what you had to do."

"That's not good enough for either of us, Garrus. You know that." Adryann argued.

"Then why bother doing it?" Garrus questioned. "You seemed sincere enough."

"I-" Adryann stopped and took a step towards Garrus and sighed. "I wasn't going to have someone under my command die on me. Not here. Not now. There's been enough of that here."

"Hey." Garrus whispered. "First off, I don't serve under you and second what happened here when you were younger was beyond your control as was the krogan coming and tearing it all down again."

Adryann smiled faintly and started for the krogan camp. "You ready to get out of here? I'm sure the crew will be surprised to see us."

Garrus chuckled and nodded. "I'm sure they will be."

* * *

The two walked in the darkness till they reached the final hill where the camp was. They marched up with gusto. Their muscles still screaming from exhaustion and pain but they pressed on. When they reached the summit, they looked down and stopped. Adryann stared at what she had done and sniffled. Her mind took snapshots of everything. She wanted to remember. She needed to.

"Adryann-" Garrus called softly. He placed his hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly at his touch and she looked at him. Her eyes sparkled up at him like the millions of tiny points of light overhead. "Thanks."

"What for?" Adryann asked, raising an eyebrow with her confusion. "I shouldn't be thanked for this." She pointed down at the bodies.

"No. Thanks for saving me." Garrus stated. "They would have done far worse to me than they would you."

Adryann shrugged. "It was nothing." She looked up at the sky and then back at Garrus. He was staring at her with an awkward smile. "What?"

"Nothing." Garrus answered with a smile. "Just thinking."

"Come on." Adryann stated with a nod. She started walking down the hill, while Garrus followed in the rear.

"Thinking of what I'd do if we weren't here." He muttered under his breath.


End file.
